The number of chips for each color is as follows:

• Grey: 97
• Red: 100
• Green: 48
• Blue: 24
• Black: 25

So with this in mind, what might be the best denomination to assign to each color when I'm playing home games with 5 or 6 players?

Continuing
Time passed: winter changed into spring, spring changed into summer ... and winter gave spring and summer a miss and went straight on into autumn... until we decided that it was the proper time to host a housewarming party for all our new friends and colleagues here in Russia.
But first, I had to take several relatively short trips to Western and Eastern Siberia. To Kazakhstan, to Uzbekistan, to Kalmykia, to Dagestan, to Chechnya, to Ukraine, to Georgia, to Latvia, to Lithuania, to Tajikistan, to Estonia…didn’t get a lick of work done for my company, but sure met one hell of a lot of folks and got info on many, many different projects.
It was basically ‘pump-priming’, or ‘testing the waters’, or whatever the hell you want to call making initial contacts, spending huge amounts of company money on flights and ‘entertainment’ expenses. As well as meeting people from well over 1.6 million different countries.
I had a most burgeoning Rolodex, not Rolex, as if anyone here would remember those things. I carried a brick-like satellite phone which was monstrously expensive so I used it as much as possible. Had binders full of business cards and I had more visas for more different countries…strange thing, though. With my red Diplomatic Passport, I could sail right through the vast majority of border control points. I guess they were still jittery after the not-so-amicable breakup and were loath to cause any ‘Diplomat’ any grief.
I got away with such shit those days.
Smuggling? “Of course not! I’m a Diplomat!”
Are those rocks of any value? “Of course not! I’m an international geologist and those are but shiny, faceted, green, blue, and red crystalline hand samples!”
Are three cases of vodka really just for ‘personal use’? “Of course not! You’re right. Let me get another one to stuff into the Diplomatic Pouch.”
So, one bright spring day over bilberry-jammed blinis and freshly Samovared-coffee, Esme and I decided that since the kids had such good friends in the complex, we’d farm them out on one Friday night. Then we’d throw a house-warming party for all our new Muscovian friends.
The party was to include several of my Siberian friends and some actual real Muscovites; who we had to strangely invite via registered letter so they could be allowed entrance to our compound.
That was one of the things I didn’t care for in compound living. But, that’s the way it was; and nothing I could do, even grouse about the rules, would change anything.
Esme had invited her entire American Women’s Club, which was composed of North and South American women. They would be bringing their husbands.
We made it sort of clear that this was an adult’s night out. As much as we loved their little ankle-biters, carpet-crawlers, and curtain-climbers; they all needed to take this one as a time out.
It was parent time in the Motherland. I already had ordered up 3 half-barrels of beer and an equal number of cases of vodka. This was not a time for puberty, it was time for adultery.
No, wait. That’s didn’t come out right…it was parent time. A time for parents...
To socialize. To get to know each other. To eat, drink, and act like a bunch of goofy teenagers.
You get a general idea.
Anyways, there were going to be Russians, Siberians; and yes, there is a difference, Czechs, Brazilians, Scots, Americans, Canadians, Dutch, Brits, Australians, Moldovans, Chinese, Nepalese, several from various Stans, Botswanans, Danes, South Africans…ah, hell, there were going to be a lot of the globe represented.
All united by the common threads of bar-be-que, free beer, and ample smokeables.
Luckily, it was fairly equable outside, weather-wise, and we were in-between the seasons of the Spring *Rasputitsa *, or mud season, and the early summer thunderstorms. I had arranged for several large tarps on poles to be erected over the front dais of the house and even more in the back yard.
The back yard would hold all the troughs full of ice, beer, and soft drinks. There would be a separate one for the vodka, cognac, and sweet girly champagne that the local women seemed to really enjoy. These tarps also covered the bar-be-que grills I had made to order a few months previously.
One of the oilfield service companies took some 8 foot-long sections of 42” line pipe, sandblasted them and sawed them in half lengthwise. They were hinged together in back and handles were welded front and back for transport. Set on four stout pipe legs, interior racks were repurposed from some Russian appliances of one sort or another. The ends were welded shut with caps and suddenly, there were a couple of very Texas-sized bar-be-que grills in my backyard.
The company had stuffed the grills into their industrial autoclave and heated the things to 2 or 3 million degrees C. to burn off all the nasty oilfield schmoo. While they were still warm, they were powder coated with electronegative paint, and re-kilned. The result was the grills and racks were surgically clean and coated in a blast-furnace-heat resistant covering of melted porcelain-like glass.
One was red, of course, and one was blue. They were works of art and are still with the service company that created them as I willed them to the company when we left some years later.
Now, bar-be-que and outdoor grilling might be as dull as dishwater to us Norteamericanos, but it was absolutely thrilling for most of our new friends. Many knew of cooking over an open fire, but only during camping, hunting, fishing, or times of natural calamity.
To cook outdoors when it wasn’t really required? Such Western decadence. This was all something thrillingly new and potentially dangerous.
I had arranged for some charcoal to be flown in from Finland, as the stuff available locally just couldn’t cut the mustard, so to speak. It was more loamy and peaty than charcoal-y. The Finnish stuff was as hard as anthracitic coal.
We were going to grill up a half-side of cow, several small suckling pigs, a load of pike-type fish, and just because, a couple of locally sourced briskets, some ‘gamburgers’ and hot dogs.
Just because it was a barbeque. Of epic proportions. Of Rocknocker-esque proportions.
Esme tried several times to reign me in, but after the truck showed up with an entire side of beef, she realized it was a lost cause.
“Rock”, she cooed to me as I tried to stuff the side of beef into our tiny kitchen, “I knew that sooner or later, you’d twist off. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately and I guess it’s finally arrived. I just want to let you know, I love you greatly and if I should disappear, I wouldn’t have gone far. I just don’t want to get caught in the crossfire.”
“What’s that, m’dear?” I asked while I tore the kitchen apart looking for the Old Bay spice and Dave’s Insanity sauce we smuggled in on our last trip.
“Oh. Nothing, dear.” Es smiled, “Go nuts. But please, be careful.”
“Oh, sure. Yeah. No worries.”, I smiled as I found that ceremonial Gurkha knife, “This will work a treat in cutting up the beef once it’s done.” as I swung the massive thing around like Darth Vader confronting a Rebel contingent.
“Kids”, Es called, “Isn’t it time to go to your friend’s house?”
This all started on a Tuesday afternoon. Es and I had to prepare the menu and then I’d get after what needed getting after.
Besides a half-side of beef on the bar-be-que, as I mentioned, we’d have some stuffed and grilled pike, hot dogs, ‘gamburgers’, a few suckling pigs, a couple of big, meaty briskets, currently corning in the kitchen, and maybe some form of poultry or two.
It’s a meat-heavy menu for a meat-heavy diet round these parts.
I took care of the beer, vodka, champagne, cognac, and gin, well, there’s were going to be some Brits in attendance, soft-drink mixers, and ridiculously expensive citrus fruits. I had the country store on-site crank up their ice machine and had standing orders for all the excess ice they could produce over the next few days.
Roger, my Texan neighbor, confidant, and mechanical engineer buddy who kept to a work schedule which closely mimicked mine, decided he couldn’t let this hapless Baja Canadian handle these whole two grills on his own.
Truth be told, Roger was a major help in fabricating the necessary rotisseries and pipework to spin the pigs and side of beef above the fire. He was keen and adept at drawing things up on paper, but pretty worthless in translating them from two to three dimensions.
That’s where my adroitness and past experiences with a pipe cutter and welding torch, again, ‘borrowed’ from the oilfield service company, along with their pipe-rack truck, came into its own. He designed, we both cut the appropriate metal, and I metal-glued them in place.
Roger ‘located’ a couple of large electrical motors, one capable of turning the 300 pounds of cow on the one spit and one efficient in handling the ‘pig basket’ of about 250 pounds of young piglet that was going to be prepared. Each was several dozen horsepower in displacement and heavy as a motherfucker. They stood alone on the ground, while Roger fabricobbled up a drive-train system and electrical controls for each.
What began as a simple ‘C’mon over for a back yard bar-be-que’ had turned into something of which NASA would have been proud.
Picture this: 2 eight-foot-long, 42” diameter pipe grills, one gleaming red, one shining blue, with a Rube Goldberg set of pipe contraption A-frames making a pair of rotisseries; one driven by a 30HP 3-phase electric motor, the other by one only churning out 20 HP. There was a separate control tower Roger ginned up which contained the start-stop switches and rheostats which controlled the rotation of the beeve and baconators.
With all that, we still had room for four stuffed pike, each at least a meter in length, my briskets, a few butterflied chickens, hot dogs and ‘gamburgers’.
“Nothing succeeds like excess”, I said to Roger as I toasted him with the second or eighth beer of the morning.
He agreed with me and stole yet another cigar.
The beef was turning slowly over a low fire of finest Finnish hardwood. This was calculated to take at least 2.5 days to complete. The suckling pigs I’d start the next morning. If all went to plan, we’d have everything ready for dinner by 1700 that Friday.
Well, the meat’s taken care of, as were the drinks.
Esme and Linda, Roger’s wife, grabbed Valosh and made a trek into downtown to Stockman’s Pantry for some typically American repasts.
Cans of baked beans, fresh lettuce, rocket, radicchio, romaine, and other salad-y makings. Several varieties of fresh fruit, Emmenthal cheese and melting Dutch chocolate for the fondues that Es set up every single time we had a gathering.
It was a tradition.
We’d source much of the remainder of the party munchies locally. There was a bakery just around the corner of the compound and after buying our bread there for months, we got to know the proprietors quite well. We explained the concept of the “tortilla chip” and damn if they didn’t create a very passable Russian version.
We created our own flavorings for dusting over them, and I think we were the absolute first to come out with a caviar-flavored chip. Potato chips were easy enough to make, as were soft tortillas, but we were coming up shy on dips.
Substituting unflavored Greek yogurt for the more usual labneh back in the Middle East, I converted some of our imported biryani masala, lamb masala, curry mix, and other Middle Eastern spices into chip dips.
You haven’t lived until you’ve had Red Caviar flavored Russian tortilla chips with a healthy dollop of garam Masala and yogurt dip.
As Emmanuel from Argentina sniffingly said: “It’s a brilliant antihistamine.”
I contracted with a batch of local school-aged kids to pick fresh mushrooms for the party.
Russians are just crazy over mushrooms. However, as we were to find out, they will only eat them cooked; having them raw for dipping or in salads really gave them pause.
Ah, just another twist on the usual house warming party.
The cow continued cooking, the porks were happily spinning along in their private horizontal merry-go-round and the Finnish cooking wood was holding out well. The smells emanating from our corner of the compound had many, many people wandering over wondering who was opening the restaurant.
Thursday slid into Friday. I took the car and made a mad dash for the Mitino Ramstore to replenish our butter, paprika and vodka stocks. Seems all those Russian bottles had holes in them…
I was actually using a good supply of the stuff in cooking. Take a cup or so of good vodka, taste-test it, just in case, restore to proper measure and heat it gently as to not incinerate your eyebrows. Add a cup or so of berries, and a cup of sugar, and a smidge of molasses. Heat until just right. Repeat until you have enough drunken berries to fill a pie crust; graham cracker or otherwise.
You can freeze this and serve it with whipped cream frozen or bake it until the berries bubble; then you can serve it with ice cream.
I made homemade ice cream as well for the evening’s festivities. To a standard vanilla base of sugar, egg yolks, and hot heavy crème, you whip this stuff until it can’t take it any longer and it goes all custardy. Then you add your flavorings and churn the hell out of it over rock salt and ice.
Result?
Mint chocolate chip with Cornish crème de menthe.
Rum raisin with Jamaican dark RUM.
Watermelon ice and spirit. Spirt is homemade Siberian rocket fuel. Pretty close to 200 proof as one can get.
Rocky road with pecans, marshmallows, caramel, chocolate truffle, and Napoleon cognac.
Bourbon vanilla with fresh Madagascar vanilla-bean vanilla.
“You can’t get booze to freeze in ice cream!” I hear some wag yell.
“You can if you freeze the stuff with liquid nitrogen!” I yell back.
I have access to all sorts of fun, sciency stuff. Liquid nitrogen is as much a cooking staple as is liquid oxygen.
We’ll save the Great Grill Meltdown story of 2002 for a later date.
Friday morning, as I was out tending the grills, several of Esme’s friends from the compound showed up to help set up for the evening’s festivities.
“Great”, I thought, “They’re in there, I’m out here with the vodka and beer. All is right with the world.”
There was a flurry of activity as each of Esme’s friends busied themselves with a different portion of the party. One was handling the desserts, one was preparing the salads, one was setting out the plates, cups (first time for red Solo Cozy Cups in Russia), and silverware. It was going to be a very informal sort of party, but evidently, there was a certain protocol to follow.
Flowers appeared from the Babushka Mafia; where we had a standing order. A huge centerpiece filled what seemed half the dining room table. A fire was started in the fireplace.
Why?
Because.
Reasons.
OK.
Me? I just stayed out of their way.
Esme started up her fondue pots; ones we’ve had since day one of our marriage. Into one went a four-cheese mixture of Emmenthal, edam, cheddar, and brie cheese, along with some light white wine. Into the other pot went a kilo or so of melting chocolate, imported from the Netherlands or other European someplace. Some very expensive, 45-year-old cognac went into that pot to facilitate meltage. There was some nutmeg, cinnamon, saffron, and other spices as well.
Potato salads were made and brought out, covered under chilled cheesecloths as the fridge was hopelessly full at this point. Green salads were made, with and without locally-produced mushrooms. The whole table groaned after a fairly short time from it’s covering of fruits, breads, beans, salsas, salads, and other party fares.
The ice creams I had made were up at the country store near the entrance to the compound, We had no room and they graciously ‘rented’ out some of their freezer space. All it cost were a few rubles and a couple of quarts of ice cream.
The horse troughs out back were stocked with kegs of beer, tappers, and bottles of booze, all on ice. There was one smaller trough full of Russian soft drinks, juices, fizzy and still waters, and other things that would probably stave off if not prevent total alcohol poisoning.
Olga, our house girl, insisted on stuffing and preparing the pike for the grill. She was a wonder. She was teaching the girls, and truth be told, Es and I, Russian and Ukrainian. She insisted on making dinner anytime Es or I wandered into the kitchen looking for a sandwich and generally made us feel like some sort of privileged class. We didn’t want that at all and went out of our way to make certain we treated her like family.
She was scrupulously honest, and when we included 250 extra rubles for her first week since all the extra work she took upon herself; she actually chewed us out for being too “credulous”.
“People will take advantage.”, she scolded, “I agree to weekly pay, no more. I will not make you more naïve.”
I finally got her to take it for payment for the language lessons.
She was a real polymath. She helped the girls with homework, ran interference with any local entanglements, and could cook like there was no tomorrow. She was a peach, pure and simple.
Plus, she liked my cigars and loved cognac.
We got on like a house afire.
She also knew her way around a fish. She had those four-meter long critters gutted, scaled, stuffed and trussed as good as any Michelin starred chef in any international seafood house.
They went on the grill, just to the south of my briskets. The chickens would only take a couple of hours over this low and slow heat and the aromas of them comingled with the other proteins were intoxicating.
Or it might have been the potato juice and beer marinades I was using for the various bits of animal carcass.
Vodka, melted butter, smoked Himalayan salt, and smoked Hungarian paprika was brushed liberally over the butterflied chickens. Many times during their grilling tenure.
Beer, a tomato reduction sauce, molasses, maple syrup, and cognac graced our rapidly caramelizing roasted piglets.
Bourbon, coffee, treacle, and a few secret ingredients made up the sauce for the beef. It went on every 100 or so turns.
The brisket and pike were left alone, except for some fish masala for the pikes and Old Bay mixture for the briskets. The grill was closed on these and they were allowed to continue more or less unmolested.
The day drew along and it was soon noon. The house was decked out very festively. The girls were going directly over to the neighbor’s after school so it was now T-5 hours to party time. But with all our help, there’s wasn’t much to do. It was all pretty much done.
Roger assured me he’d stop over at the country store and pick up the pies, ice cream and extra ice in our amassed coolers when he returned from work, around 1500 hours. So that was taken care of.
Esme decided she wanted a shower and nap before the evening’s frivolities, and since everything had already been done I couldn’t agree more. We kissed and smiled at our good fortune and taste in friends and neighbors, as she headed upstairs for a bit of kip.
The cow was turning, the pigs were spinning, the pike and briskets were smoking and I decided to grab a lawn chair, fire up a cigar and sit out back enjoying the warmish afternoon in northwestern Moscow. Oh, sure; I nodded off a few times, but made certain my charges were well looked after. Be silly to get this far and have things go south.
Roger showed up around 1600 hours and I helped him move all the coolers into the garage, as there just wasn’t room in the house nor kitchen, it was that stuffed with party favors. The meat was approaching that point where it was done to if you’ll pardon the expression, a turn.
Roger sampled a piece of the spinny cow and declared it good enough for a Texas rodeo.
High praise indeed.
He left and would return with Linda in perhaps an hour.
I went to wake Es and got her in the shower with a cup of coffee. I decided to forego the shower and helped myself to another pre-party cocktail.
5:00 PM arrived and our guests…did not.
Roger and Linda, our only North American invitees showed up around 1730.
Es, myself, Roger and Linda sat around chatting and nibbling, wondering where the hell everyone else was. I even motored up to the gate to see if the officious guards were giving any of my local invitees any grief and thus holding them up.
No. They hadn’t shown up as of yet.
Back to the house, and now, I’ve dealt with the Arabic version of showing up for a meeting, party, or operation. These characters will be late for their own autopsy. I thought punctuality was more prized in the European community.
I fiddled around with the grills and turned everything to ‘warm’. I was, truth be told, a bit miffed at all this. I had spent a fair fortune on feeding these characters, you would think…
At that precise moment, the doors burst open. The crowds had arrived. All a bit ‘fashionably late’, but with their gird on and ready to party. There was no mention of their unpunctuality, but huge bear hugs, back slaps, and depositions of house warming gifts, all bottles of some form or another of alcohol, typically rare and reflecting the origin of the giver.
The party went from absolute silence to incredible raucousness in nothing flat. I still had to man the grills, so I dragooned Roger into being the ad hoc bartender. Esme and Linda were showing folks around the place, making the perfunctory tour before the inevitable feeding and drinking. Roger was busier than a one-handed paperhanger in a windstorm. I helped out best I could by tapping the kegs and passing around the Solo Cozy cups, which made a huge hit among the Western and Eastern Europeans.
Of course, the stereo was cranked up. Between Esme’s classical music and my 60s and 70s rock collections, the place began vibrating. Luckily, we had the forethought to invite the neighbors who lived immediately adjacent to us.
After the initial drinks were disbursed, it was time for the first rounds of nibbly bits. Being in Russia, one simply cannot have a drink without a nosh. Esme’s fondues were incredible hits. Since fondue is a Scandinavian invention, we figured it’d be more well known here. Evidently not as several folks had to be given instructions as to how to build a cheesy or chocolatey snack.
The dips, crudités, amuse bouche, and chips went over very well. We had people from Africa, Asia, Europe, both Americas, Australia and other ports of call not yet mapped. Everyone had their story of foods back home that mimicked our offerings. It was most entertaining to hear stories of the braai, pit roast, chuanr, yakitori, satay, khorkhog, tandoor, and the like.
But it was the whole, well, a half grilled cow that boinged everyone’s eyes. The whole suckling pigs, smoked stuffed pike, briskets, and chickens also got their share of gapes. I had some hamburgers and hot dogs in case anyone was about to go hungry.
Over more rounds of drinks, I announced that I’d be carving up the meat and setting it out, for everyone to help themselves.
Olga shouldered her way through the crowd with my Gurkha knife and a couple of large platters. First off were two of the whole smoked and stuffed pike. These were attacked with abandon, much to Esme’s alarm as people missed the salads and zeroed in straight on the protein.
Olga sorted them all out by pointing out proper party protocol and for people to take notice of the assortment of bread, salads, Jellos, and fresh fruits provided to accompany the meals.
Properly chastised, some sense of party decorum returned as the beer continued to flow, the empty vodka bottles stacked up and my cigar humidors went, for the time being, unnoticed.
I carved off great, bleeding hunks of cow. It was so tender I could have butchered the thing with a pleasant remark. Some were blue, some were medium and some, down the way along the beast, we well done. I carved up huge hunks of each for all to take that which they would please.
The chickens came off the grill next, and after a few deft knife swipes, were deboned and ready for consumption. The briskets were resting on a sideboard in the kitchen and Olga assured me she’d take care of them as long as I handled the disassembly of the suckling pigs.
Taking a quick restroom break, I was amazed to see one of our living room tables completely covered by bottles of wine, champagne, spirits, and who-knows-what. These were our inevitable house warming gifts from our assembled friends.
There was much greeting and handshaking as I tried to make my way to the facilities. I could hear Valosh and his wife somewhere in the madding crowd, but this was simply going to have to wait. Internal pressure was approaching critical limits.
I decided to keep station out by the grills as I still needed to handle the roast suckling pigs. I figured that if people were wondering where I was, follow their nose out to the bars and grill; I’d be around somewhere close.
Roger dragged a table over from his backyard to give me some room to disassemble the little porkers. He kept up with his bartending duties and I reduced those crispy little pork packets into more eatable size pieces. People had gotten the idea that enough with me bringing in the grilled food, they’d just come outside and get it fresh off the cooker.
The party was going into high gear. People were showing up who I didn’t know, and after quizzing Esme, she had no idea as well. Didn’t make a bit of difference; there was no way we’d run out of food or drink, and as long as we’re here, we international ambassadors of general amity. As long as these interlopers behaved themselves, no one had any objections.
There was one small incident where some local younger hooligans tried to swipe a couple of bottles of booze off the living room table. Some older Russian gentlemen, Heroes of the Soviet Union all, relieved the hooligans of their ill-gotten gains. Somewhat forcefully. They gifted them instead cuffed ears, kicks up the backside and swats on the back of the head as they admonished them off the property.
We learned later these older Russian gentlemen were both maintenance and security for the compound. We were most pleased to make their acquaintance and happy they could join us.
The house was packed, the front yard was packed, the back was really packed. Everyone was eating and drinking like there was no tomorrow. And as tomorrow was Saturday, the international day of rest and hangover nursing, and since we’re so far north, we’re starting to get into White Nights territory, this was going to be a long, long night.
The pike were gone. All four, consumed.
The briskets were as well. I was told they were ‘very good’. I’ll have to take their word for it, I never as much as got a slice.
Chickens? Disappeared. Gone without a trace.
Piglets? We had about one small half left.
The side of beef? Well, there were still a few steaks left, as I carved myself a healthy hunk, but I was amazed at the feeding frenzy we had just witnessed. It was mostly gone as well. Maybe enough for a few sandwiches come the morning.
The salads were most appreciated and devoured. Even Esme’s grandmothers bit-o-a-joke lime Jell-O with carrots and peas disappeared. Bread? Mostly gone. Chips and dips? Still holding out, but would never survive the night.
Esme and I were glad everyone was getting their fill.
Everyone was finishing up on the main courses and all helped pitch in to clean up any trash and do what few dishes Olga hadn’t yet gotten to. There was an actual lull in the gathering as now it was time for a post-dinner smoke and a bit of rest before dessert.
Roger and his teenage son went out in the garage and brought back the 4 coolers full of bespoke ice cream. One would think ice cream wouldn’t be terribly relished by denizens of the far north. Au contraire. The locals love the stuff. In fact, I haven’t found a single person who has actually refused a bowl of my homemade nitrogenized ice cream.
Esme broke out the plastic bowls and announced that there were homemade pie and ice cream available out back.
“Name your poison”, I chuckled.
That idiom took some time to explain across 20 or so different languages.
There was a problem though. People may be familiar with chocolate, vanilla and strawberry ice cream; but Rum Raisin, Vodkamelon ice, and Crème de menthe chocolate chip? This was ‘terra incognita’ for most everyone.
What better way to sort it all out by providing samplers of each of the flavors in one bowl?
I froze the plastic bowls in liquid nitrogen then placed smallish scoops of each flavor ice cream in each.
“Just a sample”, I said, “So you can figure out which you like best.”
It took a bit of translating, but soon everyone got the idea.
Once I dished out the mixed-berry pie, there was no clear winner on which ice cream flavor was the favorite. They were all consumed 100%. Some actually came back for thirds.
And the pie was good, or so I was told.
Once more, after the dessert course, the whole area was policed clean. Food, drink and various fun activities started to take their toll. Things were beginning to quiet down.
Then I forgot and went to my humidor and grabbed a smoke.
Over a couple of boxes of cigars, impromptu Bocce ball, lawn darts, and corn hole games broke out. I mean, it’s 2200 hours, you have a huge cigar, it’s still light. What better than tossing around heavy metal balls, pointed oversized darts, or bean bags at holes sawn in plywood?
Then Laurens-Jan and his wife, Fientje broke out the Absinthe Fountain.
An absinthe fountain is not for dispensing absinthe, but rather for dispensing water.
A typical absinthe fountain is an ornate vessel with several taps around its central water container, which permits a number of drinkers to louche their absinthe at the same time. On contact with water, absinthe will louche -- or develop a certain subtle clouding that will slowly transform the drink's color from deep emerald into a delightful shade of opalescent light green.
They had brought a couple of bottles of King of Spirits Absinth from Denmark with them.
Just for a side note, the stuff is 70% alcohol or 140 proof.
As if the evening needed another shot in the arm.
The Absinthe Fountain louched four drinks at a time. It did so in a mesmerizing and nearly hypnotizing manner so that when the drink was ready for consumption, one could scarcely decline.
OK, there was still a half-barrel or so of beer out in the backyard, probably a case or so of spirits of various denominations swimming around back there as well. There was an active absinthe loacher going on in the dining room, cigars were being had by most everyone and games of very little skill were being attempted out in the yard.
The party had found its high watermark.
People had achieved what we Baja Canadians would call ‘blissed’. It’s that feeling you get, sitting out under a basic roof, at a rained-out ballgame or after trekking all over a country or state fair, sitting with several pitchers of probably somewhat flat and lukewarm beer, feet up and just enjoying the hell out of the universe.
It’s a rare condition, but I think we attained it here.
Spontaneous card games erupted: cribbage, Schafskopf, Canasta, poker, and spit.
The music toned down and was more instrumental than the early electronica synth-pop of dinner. Conversations broke out. Friendships were made and cemented.
Bliss had been achieved.
One of those friendships came back the very next day to haunt us.
Dr. Dumitru Hurgoi and his wife, Dr. Anamaria Stelymes, veterinarians both, showed up at our door early the next afternoon; planned strategically after the girls had returned from school.
Seems Dr. Dumitru heard me lamenting the loss of our Lady McBeast a few years prior and how our daughters were missing having a pet or two around the house.
Drs. Dumitru and Anamaria ran the local chapter of the Russian version of the Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. They had just taken possession of a litter of little, pure-snow-white Samoyed pups that had been abandoned at their clinic.
They made their entrance carefully, making certain the girls saw all 6 puppies as they spilled, oops, out of the box and into our villa. They were about 5 weeks old, very inquisitive and were immediately all over the house. It took us over an hour to round them all up.
Of course, at that time, we had a great deal of exposure to each of the pups.
Of course, we couldn’t be cads and refuse to take at least one for our very own. It was Khris, already starting her studies to be a large animal veterinarian, that ran each of the pups through her testing scales to see which would be the most appropriate for our family.
That all didn’t matter, as Tash glommed onto one little female and refused to give her up.
We took the smaller female puppy of the litter. It proved to be the best idea of the time because once she was removed from the bump and tussle of the litter, she really came into her own.
So, that afternoon, I signed the papers on the ownership of “Zima”, Russian for “Winter” due to her snow-white countenance.
Smart? Like a whip. Clever. Inquisitive? Oh, yes. A footwear thief?
Until we left Russia, I never had a matching pair of socks again.
To be continued

Maybe not the best gambling come up ever told, but my personal best. Not dollar wise, I've cashed out way more before. It's a long read, but worth it.... Check this shit out....
I go up to buy a vintage boat in Illinois. 12 hour drive to Texas. Due to crazy weather (worst thunderstorm I have ever driven through by far) and even crazier girls, get stuck in St. Louis. Had an incredible night with and even more incredible woman on her birthday. Start heading home back to Texas.
Driving through Oklahoma it starts up again, really bad rain. Nope, not doing this again, I take the next exit. I'm in Tulsa. Exit coincidentally at the hard rock (was just gonna wait the storm out or maybe see if they would comp my room). They say no way, you don't have any players card and this ain't Vegas, you gotta do some damage to earn your free room. I'm like ok...bet....(I am a high stakes baccarat player)
So I buy in with $800, tell cashier that I'll be back shortly with $10k. Yeah......okay buddy sure....
I get wrecked, down to my last $12. Feeling shitty and mad at the rain. I proceed to turn that $12 into...well alot. Table max is $1000. My new best bud Jason from OKC was there and we started killing it. We made a deal with the pit boss that if we run them out of $500 chips they would go to cage and just out the golden $1000 chips. They said yeah ok, those chips are dusty because they never need them.
I hit max bet wins 9 separate times. Beat a natural 8 with a natural 9 (if you don't know bacc it's the hardest and most satisfying thing in the world) twice for table max bet if $1000. My buddy Jason and I followed each other rarely betting against each other. We wrecked that table bad and did what we said we would do, drained every $500 chip they had. Pit boss begrudgingly called the cage for the ultra rare $1000 chips. Said it hasn't happy in 3 years.
In 3 hours I hit my goal, cashed out at exactly $10,000. And headed to cashier. Same girl who I told her I'd be back either broke or with 10k. Slow walk, with my best ass face on. You could tell she felt bad because unlike the dealers cahiers love when people win.
I put 10 $1000 chips on the window table, and said....I don't fuck around when it comes to Baccarat. Told ya. She flipped out, couldn't believe it.
Got a casino hostess, free suite which was super nice, and a free room anytime I am in Tulsa.
Also there was this Mexican pimp who was like a degenerate one armed bandit (plays slot machines like a tool). He tried to hustle me for all his jewelry for like $2000. I gave him $250 but only if he included his heiña's turquoise ring as well (I am a fucking savage). So that's why I am all blinged out on the drive home.
And yes, for the doubters, I didn't give a dime back and drove straight home. Going to Vegas in two weekends with some girls and an even nicer free suite. Not going to gamble at all, just rent an exotic car and finally do all the cool Vegas non strip fun nature activities Ive always wanted. Lake Tahoe, Red Rock Canyon, float trip, etc.
Yes 2020 sucks but I'm tired of it brining me down. Met somebody very special and from here on out I'm dedicated. Positive vibes only!!!! 💯
Required disclaimer: I don't even like to gamble because it is super stressful for me. I only go once or twice a year. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS. Scared money don't make no money.....
Oh, big shout-out to mother nature. Without those two rainstorms I wouldn't have fallen in love or had a much needed come up. If only I could have danced with my baby I'm the rain it would have been icing on the cake.
Made it home safe to Texas with boat intact and a fat stack. Life is good!!!!
FIRST TIME PLAYING BACC:
I was taught baccarat while living in Korea for 3 years. My white ass with big blonde hair and blue eyes, and for some reason Al the older Koreans would stop me in the street saying James Dean......James Dean!!!
Well I was playing in a poker tournament, this guy does the James Dean thing during a break in the tournament as I'm walking to get a quick bite if food and bathroom. It's the final table and I'm in like 3rd place with 7 players left (not too big, I think it was $300 buy in, 100 players or so) .
Anyway so he stops me and says....in his best broken English, Player ....Banker...James....James (he points at each).... Player, Banker?!?!
I'm like shit I dunno this weird Asian card game never even seen it. Banker is like the house right? House always wins, so I say and point banker....
Again with the natural 8 losing to natural 9, player loses. Bank wins. Guy shits a brick and slides me his winnings. He makes me sit down. I realize he bet 4.2 million won ( like ~4000USD) at the time. And he just gave it to me thinking I was his good luck charm. He taught me how to play (it's very very easy to learn bacc...) But more importantly taught me how to play with balls of steel which is a required learned skill in this game.
We proceed to wreck the table, I think I cashed out somewhere close to $18k and he hit like 75k. I ended up going back to tournament damn near blinded out but still in 5th place. Took third place and took home whatever $$$ that was. Korea's biggest currency denomination is a 10k won bill, like $10. So I literally walked out with a paper bag filled with money, like I robbed a bank, went home and spread it all over the bed and had sex on it like I was Scrooge McDuck or Walter White or Lil Wayne. Oh to be young again.
Like I said I have cashed out more but my first and last times playing bacc were extremely memorable. 18k off a 4k freeroll and $800 to $12 to $10k. What do you guys think?
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Standard Disclaimer: I do not take credit for the setting, this story is set in the They Are Smol universe, written by our very own u/tinyprancinghorse.
TPH has a Website, a Patreon, and also a Discord if you need more smol shenanigans.
The first Smol Detective story can be read starting Here.
The second Smol Detective story can be read starting Here.
There will be some spoilers/references to prior SD stories in this one, so consider yourself duly warned.
Additional Author's Note: I had a bout of the dreaded Writer's Block, hence the delay in getting this out to you fine folks. But in my defense I now have everything planned out, so you should get the rest of this much faster.
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First Chapter
Previous Chapter
Next Chapter
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In the previous chapter:
Rory did a Throw.
Hnrahnan did a Concern.
Nefarious Plans were Started.
In this chapter:
Valentin tries to have a Smoke.
Stakes get Raised.
Zara and Rory play a Game.
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Valentin strolled around an outside corner of the team's warehouse in a Very Casual manner. It was not a manner that indicated that someone was about to indulge in any sort of Filthy Vice, no sir. Valentin moved like he had not a care in the world...until he was carefully out of sight.
He leaned against the warehouse corner and grumbled, then darted his head to look in both directions. A light dusting of snow stretched over black pavement as far as he could see, and the bitter winter wind stung his cheeks. He didn't notice the latter, because the coast was clear. Besides, their 'guest' was not supposed to be outside anyway. It should be safe as he only needed a couple of minutes to indulge. With a relieved sigh Valentin reached into his right lapel pocket and pulled out a single cigarette. His left lapel pocket gave up the lighter therein, and with something approaching religious ecstasy he flicked the lighter on and brought it up to the cigarette now held in his mouth...
Valentin started in surprise as his cigarette all but vaporized, torn from his mouth and shredded by invisible claws. "[I told you how bad that is for you,]" whispered a chirping voice from nowhere.
"Oh, come on!" Valentin hung his head. "Please, just need one. You promised you wouldn't step outside."
"[True, but then again I'm a professional liar. Don't worry, nobody can see me.]"
"Not unless they have infrared sensors." Valentin looked around in a panic as his nicotine cravings faded in the face of a much more severe concern. If The Powers That Be caught wind of a Karnakian actually on Earth...well, jail would be the least of his worries. "Get inside!"
"[I'll make a deal with you,]" replied the invisible Karnakian.
Valentin clenched his teeth. "If it means you stop trying to get yourself and me in all the trouble, then yes!"
"[I'll go back inside and stay there if you promise not to smoke until the job's over. Then you can go back to abusing your lungs.]"
"Why do you care?" he whispered furiously.
"[Because you are little and need protecting. Not to mention the smell of [tobacco] smoke makes me heave.]"
Valentin hung his head in defeat. "Fine, we have deal. Now get your tail inside!"
There was no verbal response. Instead, he felt the caress of gentle but very sharp claws on his scalp before his invisible companion vanished.
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“With respect, Daniel - and to you, sir - you don’t understand what we have here!” Chaudhari’s olive-skinned face split in a huge smile, and her hands spread out in front of her in a pleading manner to both men. The gesture made her look like a used-car salesman trying to close a deal with a pair of finicky customers.
Daniel gave a shrug of his stooped shoulders and looked towards his boss. Martin didn’t look back. Instead he rubbed his temple and regarded once more the Egg in its cradle. He was beginning to hate the sight of it, what with all the trouble trailing in its wake. “I know exactly what we have,” he snapped at her. “The data’s why I had the damn thing stolen in the first place.”
The Indian scientist shook her head, causing her perfectly coiffed ponytail to sway gently. Her pleading gesture shifted towards the Egg. “I’m not talking about the data on it, I mean the Egg itself! This is a piece of alien nanotech with none of the restrictions of any normal fabber. It’s designed to operate with no infrastructure! Of course, it only does the one thing, buuuut...”
She trailed off hopefully. Martin set his jaw as his frustration reached maximum pressure, but just as he was about to go full Vesuvius on her the penny dropped. As he realized her implication, his eyes widened and he let out a rare curse.
“Holy...fuuuck. You think we could reverse-engineer the nanotech itself?” Martin eyed the Egg again, this time with trepidation. For one moment he wondered if at last he'd bitten off more than he could chew. If the Senate ever realized the full implications of what she’d said, the xenos just might stage another invasion of Earth.
Daniel blew out a breath and gave voice to Martin’s trepidation. “I’m not sure we want to go down that road. Unrestricted nanotech is something that the xenos don’t allow even amongst themselves. We're talking a gray goo scenario here.”
Martin thought through the possibilities. “True, but those restrictions apply only to the xeno's citizenry. Certainly their governments have such capabilities, and they haven't become gray goo yet. Let’s at least think through our options. What would it take for a successful effort?”
Chaudhari stared off over Daniel’s head. “We’ll need as much analyzing hardware as possible while the Egg does its thing. Full EM spectrum at a minimum, plus microscopic samples of it during the various stages of ‘growth’.”
“We’ll want X-ray images at key points,” added Daniel. His face was now as thoughtful as Chaudhari’s. “It’ll be vital to figuring out how the nanotech moves the, well, ‘nutrients’ around while inside itself while the structure grows.”
Martin gave the Egg one final look as if daring the thing to raise any objection. “Get an equipment list together. Whatever you need, I'll get.”
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Christian bundled his dark blue uniform and ID badge into a small duffel, whistling tunelessly through his teeth while he did so.
"Well somebody's in a good mood," said a nearby coworker. The man was in the middle of stripping off his own uniform.
"Got a date tonight," replied Christian. "New gal in town. Her name's Zoey, she's one helluva looker." He shut his locker with a smirk and wondered just how grateful Zoey might be if the game went really well for her. Maybe they should set up some ways to signal to each other, just to tilt the odds in their mutual favor. Then she'd be very grateful indeed; maybe he could even get some hot and sweaty good times out of the deal.
Christian slung his duffel over one shoulder and headed for the exit. On second thought, he decided not to even think about cheating if Zoey was involved. He had no inkling of her competence, and didn't want to find out midway through the game that she sucked at signaling. The guy in charge of the game was maybe-kinda-sorta involved in organized crime. Of course, that hadn't stopped Christian from cheating a few times but he knew when not to press his luck.
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The two of them looked around the dingy back room. Christian tried to look calm and composed, as if it was perfectly natural for him to be standing next to a stone-cold stunner of a woman. Before them sat a green-felted round table ringed with well-worn leather chairs.
"This is it?" asked the aforementioned stunner. She'd hung her parka near the door and now wore a slinky blue dress that complimented her azure eyes.
"This it is," said a voice from behind them. A man that Christian knew only as 'Max' strolled through the sole door into the space. Max was a lanky fellow with a truly impressive scar that meandered up one of his cheeks. He liked to spin stories of how he'd received it, and no two were the same. Christian suspected that it was probably due to something mundane like falling off a ladder. The man fixed Christian with pale, predatory eyes. "Who's the newcomer, Chris?"
"This is Zoey, she's looking for a good game. I told her yours was the best."
"Thanks, I think." Max sketched a slight bow in Zoey's direction. "At least you're prettier than your companion. We do a standard five-card draw, minimum buy-in is one thousand."
Christian didn't miss the slight flicker of dread that crossed Zoey's face. Her voice, however, showed no sign of fear. "I can handle that," she declared.
Max smiled, but it was not a friendly smile. "I guess it's a night for new faces. Nalin found one of his own, they should be here shortly."
Within the next half hour, the rest of the players arrived. Christian gave cordial nods to the familiar faces; they were more than ‘acquaintances’ but definitely not at the level of ‘friends’...with one exception, a cheerful and round-faced guy named Akihito. He'd hit it off with Christian from the start, and he took a moment to give Christian a smile and a handshake.
Christian also took a moment to size up the other 'new face'. The guy was a shorter, more bear-like man named Rick who wore a neatly trimmed beard and a permanent hangdog expression.
The group paid up with Chris and seated themselves around the table. Christian set his duffel under his chair and hoped that Zoey would sit next to him. Alas, it was not to be. He found himself seated with Rick to his right instead of Zoey, while the latter sat across the table from him. He supposed he’d suffer through such a hardship; at least he could look at her without getting a crick in his neck.
Max set out the rules along with the chips, then performed the first deal.
It started out okay for Christian and less okay for Rick. The man’s dour expression turned to anger as his pile of chips diminished. Zoey was a deft hand in contrast, winning a few big rounds. She won one of the larger pots by bluffing on a pair of threes to the point where everyone else folded. The feat earned chuckles of grudging admiration from most of the players and a deeper scowl from Rick. Christian didn’t mind losing that round, since it meant he got a nice long look down Zoey's dress while she raked in the pot.
A few deals later, it was Rick’s turn to deal. The guy might not be great at poker but he seemed at least competent at shuffling. As Christian peeped at his hand he found himself having to really work on his poker face. A pair of Jacks looked up at him as if to say that tonight was his lucky night.
After the first betting round, Christian decided to draw two. His posture stayed casual, but inside he was jumping up and down like a loon; one of his new cards was a Jack as well. He eyed his stacks of chips and decided that there was no way he was folding, not on this hand.
Several people folded soon after. It came down to a three-way showdown between Christian, Rick, and Akihito. A few rounds of raising later and Rick folded with a grumble.
"You must have a good hand, Chris," said Akihito.
Christian responded with a casual shrug. "Only one way to find out. I raise you a hundred." He tossed his bet into the pot.
"Very well. I call," replied Akihito. He laid his cards in front of him in a smooth manner. "Triple eights."
Christian decided to be magnanimous in victory and not cackle like an evil overlord. "Pretty good! I got three Jacks." He matched Akihito's smooth layout as he put down his own cards.
Rick gave another little grumble. "Christian wins," he said. He picked up the discards and reformed the deck. He waved the latter in Christian's direction with an ironic air. "Congrats."
Akihito shook his head and chuckled while the winner half-stood out of his chair to rake the pot towards him. Christian sat down with a satisfied sigh and quickly segregated the chips into their proper denominations. Then he accepted the deck from Rick with a little nod and began to shuffle. The next few deals passed pleasantly; Christian didn't win, but he didn't lose much either.
On the fourth deal after Christian's big win, however, things went entirely to shit.
Rick won a relatively small pot, but he creased his forehead as he looked through the hands on the table. "I coulda sworn...where's the fourth Ace?"
It was Max's turn to deal, and he raised an eyebrow as he collected the cards and began to shuffle. "Whaddya mean?"
"I haven't seen the Ace of Clubs in a while," said Rick. "I think somebody's holding out."
Max rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, that's ridiculous."
Rick tapped the felt tabletop. "Just spread out the deck, okay? We should make sure."
With an exasperated sigh, Max complied. His put-upon air evaporated as he began sorting through the face-up cards, pulling out the Aces. He went through it four times, but was only able to find three of the Aces.
Sure enough, the Ace of Clubs was nowhere to be seen.
Max's face set into a frown. "Everyone, hands on the table, now. Keep 'em there."
A staccato series of thumps sounded through the room as everyone complied. Christian felt a little pang of fear, but quashed it with equal suddenness. For once he was innocent, and he wondered with some curiosity who was the guilty party.
"Here's what we're gonna do," said Max. "Starting with me, we're gonna each stand up in turn and keep our hands out and visible. Move real slow." He pushed himself up with slow care, keeping his hands up and out. "See anything, Harry?"
The guy to Max's left looked down at the now-empty chair and the floor under it. "Nothing."
"Okay. Now you stand."
As Harry obeyed, a new and horrifying thought struck Christian. He glanced across the table to Zoey, whose face was set in an impassive mask. Surely she wouldn't be stupid enough to cheat? But what if she was? He'd brought her, after all. Max would not be too happy with him.
The knot of tension in Christian's stomach cinched tighter as the wave of standing players inched its way oh-so-slowly towards Zoey. She didn't so much as glance at Christian the whole time, instead she kept her cool and indifferent expression. Her face didn't so much as flicker when it was her turn to stand...and revealed nothing.
Christian blew out a silent and relieved breath as the wave continued its way around the table to him. When it was his turn, he imitated Max's caution as he stood up slowly. His heart rate was just about back to normal. Once they'd found the cheater they could get back to playing cards...
Rick and the man to Christian's left both yelled simultaneously. "What the hell?"
Forgetting to move slowly, Christian spun and stared down in utter panicked disbelief at the Ace of Clubs sitting neatly in the center of his own seat.
Rick surged to his feet, his face contorted in anger. "I knew it! You damn cheat!"
Before Christian could so much as draw breath to protest he found himself staring down at a pistol held in Rick's mitt-like hand. A pistol that was aimed right at Christian's heart.
Max settled a hand next to his hip. "Rick, I'm only gonna say this once. Put that fucking thing away..."
Rick didn't pay the slightest attention as he continued his ranting. "What about your ladyfriend over there? She in on it too? I bet you got some signals set up, eh?"
"I didn't-!" began Christian.
Two sharp successive cracks sounded out, and for one moment Christian thought himself a dead man. But instead it was Rick's eyes who went wide with shock. The bear-like man looked down at himself, his gun slipping from suddenly nerveless fingers as a pair red blotches spread out and across his chest.
Christian whipped his head towards Zoey, who stood with that same emotionless expression and a pistol of her own pointed at Rick. Before he could even scream another protest, multiple bloody holes erupted in Zoey's chest simultaneous with the sound of rapid gunfire. Her now-boneless body toppled inelegantly backwards before Rick's own corpse could even hit the ground.
Max bared his teeth as smoke wafted from the muzzle of his now-drawn pistol. The players all stood in a frozen tableau around the table as they each tried to parse the carnage they'd just seen.
"God. Damn. SHIT!" Max roared as his furious gaze swung towards Christian.
"I didn't!" yelled Christian, gesturing at the Ace on his chair. "I didn't put that there!"
Somehow that declaration was the signal for 'everybody panic.' Christian stood like a stunned ox as the room filled with lot of screaming, flailing limbs, and running around. A tug at his shoulder snapped him out of his trance, and he turned to see Akihito. The man's face was no longer cheerful as he yanked again at Christian's arm. "WE GO! NOW!" he screamed.
Christian's self-preservation instincts kicked in, and he managed to beat Akihito in a sprint out the door.
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Max sighed as he sat down on his heels next to the woman's body. Her blue eyes stared lifelessly upwards. Her mouth hung open as a trickle of red dripped downward from one corner of her mouth. The blood mingled on the floor with the gore oozing from her shredded torso.
"Alas, poor thing," he intoned. "Such a sweet rose of summer, come to spread her cheer to these poor wintry climes only to be cut down in her prime by a cruel and fickle fate..."
Zara's eyes ceased their death-stare towards the ceiling and focused on him. "Oh bite me, Max."
He grinned. "Anytime you want, darlin'. And anywhere you care to name." He stood and reached down with one hand to help Zara to her feet.
Meanwhile Rory already had Christian's duffel on the table and unzipped. He sorted through it while humming a happy tune, unconcerned with his own seemingly bullet-ridden chest. "Ah!" He pulled out a white ID badge.
Max let go of Zara's hand. "Seriously, are you okay? That was a damned good flop you pulled. So good, in fact, that you just about gave this poor old heart of mine a serious stoppage. For a moment there I wondered if I'd used real bullets by accident."
"Eh, I've done better," replied Zara. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Rory rummaged around under his own chair and retrieved a small black case with a slot on its side. He set Christian's ID card within it and touched his ear. "Hey Silk, you reading me? Yeah, you should be able to scan it now."
The case emitted a faint whirr while Rory's expression turned from happy to put-upon. "Yes, I'm fine...I told you I'd be fine! It was just a couple of squibs, they're perfectly safe!" He rolled his eyes as the person on the other end continued their harangue. "Look, just scan the damn thing, wouldja? Lemme know when you're done."
Max strolled over to Rory. "Somebody on your crew wants to be your mother, eh?"
Rory sighed. "Only if my luck holds." He stuck out his mitt. "Thanks again for helping us out."
"No thanks necessary," replied Max as he shook Rory's hand. "The money is quite nice, but frankly I'm just happy that I got to see the master in action. You did a center deal to give Christian that third Jack, didn't you?"
"Yep." Rory's smile was as smug as a cat who's just knocked something very fragile and hideously expensive off of a counter-top.
"God. Damn. I was looking right at your hands and I still couldn't see it." Max held up a finger. "In my defense, I did see you flick that Ace onto his chair when he stood up to collect the pot."
Zara walked around the other side of the table with a duffel bag of her own. She unzipped it and pulled out a pristine dress, a shirt and jacket of Rory's size, and a few large stacks of cash. She began stripping out of her own ruined clothes, revealing quite a bit of skin along with the now-empty packs of fake blood strapped to her midsection. She yanked off the packs and bundled them into the duffel along with her original and ruined dress, leaving her clad only in a bra and panties.
Max tried and (for once) succeeded in not ogling a near-naked woman. Zara was easily young enough to be his daughter, which quashed any erotic feelings on his part into something more akin to a wistful longing to be young again. He distracted himself by pulling the stacks of money towards him and and sorting them into smaller and equal piles.
Meanwhile Rory started undressing himself as he argued with his unseen comrade. "I know it's an explosion close to the skin! But, and here's the important part, it's a very small explosion."
Zara smirked as she helped Rory out of his shirt and jacket, then out of his own blood-pack undergarment. All the while he continued to protest.
"I'm not gonna argue about this any more! Are you done? No, I mean with the card! You know, the thing we're going through all of this nonsense for?"
Max looked across the table at Zara. She'd just finished pulling on her new dress. "You guys must have something big in the works," he said.
She glared at him in sudden suspicion. In response Max mimed zipping his mouth closed, locking it, and throwing away an imaginary key. Then he grinned again. "Hey, I'm gettin' paid enough to not be curious. I just want you two to be careful, alright? Look after this schlub." He nodded towards Rory.
Zara's glare softened. "We will, and I will. Thanks."
The door to the back room swung open a crack and Akihito slipped in.
"Our boy all set?" asked Max.
Akihito nodded. "Last I saw he was running home as fast as his feet would take him. I don't think he's realized yet that he left his stuff here."
Rory gave another exasperated sigh as the black case let out a soft beep. "Okay, Silk...okay, yes, I hear ya. You sure you got all the data you need? Good, tell Big O that we're on our way back." He pulled the ID out of the scanner and tossed it back into Christian's duffel. "This is all yours."
Max reached over and zipped up Christian's duffel, then handed it to Akihito who in turn accepted it with a little bow of his head. Meanwhile, one by one the other players also slipped in through the half-open door. By the time Rory finished dressing, the rest of the original group stood ringed around the table.
Max looked around at the assembled group. "Good job, everyone." He motioned to the stacks of money. "You all earned your pay. One stack per person. Akihito has one last bit to do, and then we're finished. We reconvene at Francine's place in two hours, and I'll make sure she breaks out the good stuff." His scarred face smiled at them all in turn. "The first round's on me, but after that it's outta your own pockets. Ya buncha degenerates."
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His feet gave the beige carpet quite a workout as Christian Murphy paced back and forth in the living room of his modest apartment. Once he'd gotten over the adrenaline shock of watching someone fucking die while in bad-breath range, he'd realized that his uniform and ID badge were smack-dab in the middle of an active crime scene.
Christian rubbed a hand over his mouth as he wondered just what might happen. If Max decided to just split and leave the bodies there, the police would be paying a visit soon enough. They'd find the corpses along with his duffel. Hell, they might be ringing his doorbell at any moment.
Even if that never happened, he'd still need his ID to get back onto base. He'd have to get a replacement. Maybe he could claim that he'd been mugged? Or maybe he could sneak back to the location and see if he could snag his stuff before it became state's evidence. Either way, he had to decide now. If he reported a theft before any report of shooting or murder, that would count in his favor...
His frenzied musing ceased as the doorbell rang. Christian sidled up to his front door, taking care not to put his body directly in front of it. He risked moving in front of it just long enough to glance through the peephole.
Akihito stood on Christian's front stoop, glancing from side to side in barely-controlled fear.
Christian cracked his door open. "What the fuck?"
Akihito shoved a familiar duffel bag towards the just-opened entryway, and in surprise Christian let the door swing open wider to admit the offering. Christian's duffel thumped to the carpet next to his feet.
The unexpected visitor kept up his side-to-side scanning. "I must have dropped my wallet, okay? I snuck back in there to get it and saw nothing but some blood stains on the floor. Got my wallet back and saw your bag, I figured you'd want it. And this is it, understand? It's my last favor. No more sticking my neck out. From now on I don't know you and you don't know me."
"You didn't see Max?" hissed Christian.
"No. Maybe he was off chopping up the bodies of those two idiots, just so he could burn them easier. Just lay low, okay? Like I said, from now on we're all strangers to each other." Without a glance back Akihito turned and walked away.
Christian shut the door and regarded the duffel at his feet with something akin to sexual hunger. "Oh, please be in there..." He dove for it and unzipped the top with alacrity. "Please...," He dug one hand into its depths, moving it over the bulletproof fabric of his uniform. He sagged in relief as his fingers encountered a familiar square of plastic. Christian pulled out his ID and regarded it with an emotion akin to hunger.
He'd somehow gotten free of the whole mess. His superiors were not very forgiving, and he knew that if they caught wind of his infidelities they'd be very harsh with him. So all he had to do was say nothing and wait for the garbage pile to fade away into the distance.

Poker is a popular card game across the world with the excitement of gambling and potential for huge payoffs. Almost integral to the poker game are the poker chips, and indeed poker does not feel like poker without poker chip sets.
The chips are small discs of various colors representing different denominations, meant as substitutes for real money, which is instead stored in a more secure place. The use of money substitutes, or token money, can be traced back through the 13th to 17th centuries in Europe. Today poker chips are often made according to themes and formats that unite a particular set of chips. This is useful in avoiding counterfeiters, even for games at home or in private.
Casino chips use many different anti-counterfeiting measures, with the most basic being chip coloration and embossed or molded patterning. Holographic inlays, distinctive colored markings on the edges and ultraviolet markings on the inlays further deter potential counterfeiters. Lastly, Radio Frequency Identification or RFID tags are used by some establishments. The latter method can be quite costly, but the establishments that use them feel the cost is justified. Given the difficulty in counterfeiting chips, poker chip frauds in casinos are rare.
If you plan to play in private though, you should be careful of frauds, especially if you are using mass-produced chips. Another reason for these security measures is to identify which casinos they came from. This is usually not a problem, since casinos usually honor only their own chips and it is more of a matter of branding. In Nevada however, casinos are permitted to honor chips from other casinos, and these identifiers make returning chips to the casinos they belong to easier.
Poker Chip Sets - Composition and Coloration
Authentic casino poker chips are made of clay, though not pure clay which is too soft. Special composite mixtures have been made, using trade-secret techniques, the confidential nature of which is yet another speed bump on the counterfeiter's path. Sometimes, special edition poker chip sets may be bought from casinos, though generally poker chips stay in the casinos. Poker chips made for home use on the other hand may or may not be of the same quality as their casino counterparts.
For home use poker chips, ceramic and ABS plastic are the most common materials. When ceramic is used, special compositions allow them to approximate the feel of real clay while maintaining a lower price profile. Ceramic chips are also used in some casinos. ABS plastic chips on the other hand may be molded with a metal disk or slug inside, to give them some heft. For those in Europe, poker chips may come in mother of pearl, which gives them an incomparable sheen and luster. Coloration is standard for different denominations in one set, but may differ across sets. For example, in some places there are standard coloration schemes for chips, while in others there are none. Of note is the US State of Nevada, where casinos are given free rein on their chip designs and colors.
Poker Chip Sets - Sets and Themes
Since poker games often involve large amounts of money, a large number of chips are needed. Standard sets have 300 pieces, while others can have 500 pieces, and yet others reaching a stunning 1000 pieces. Some casinos sell poker chips similar to those used on the floor but with a few differences for identification purposes. This is great for those who want to emulate the feel of their favorite places of gambling at home games. Limited edition sets can be highly collectible, and there is a thriving community of poker chip collectors.
Many of the poker chips are traded via eBay, and the most special ones can go for thousands of US dollars, regardless of face value. Whole sets of these special poker chips can cost even more than the individual pieces. What really ties the members of all poker chip sets together is the design of the chips. Poker chips in one set are often of identical sizes, of consistent coloration, and having similar inlays. Colors and inlays vary according to denomination, but the idea is that chips from one set are identifiably from the very same set.
The edges and rims may also be embossed with characteristic patterns and even have colored sections made via special multi stage molding techniques. The designs may be simple and straight forward, just simple chips with numbers. They could just as well be whimsical, like having humorous or otherwise interesting prints on the inlays. A set of poker chips will often be packaged in a poker chip case or some such container such as an acrylic poker chip carrier or humidor style wooden poker chip case, in the tradition followed in casinos worldwide. One would suppose that if you are going for the authentic feel, then there's no point skimping on the little details.
Poker Chip Sets - Elements of Authenticity
Poker chips are essential to playing poker. One can "play" poker without them, but it will not feel like poker without the chips would it? It is the feel of these poker chips that gives a tactile sense of authenticity. The clink of these poker chips as they hit the table and trade hands adds to the ambiance. The nature of these poker chips ensures that no one can weasel out of the bet that they placed, so it ensures a fair game as far as bets are concerned. Speaking of amounts, the printed or inlaid values may vary depending on where you buy your poker chip sets.

You have viewed poker on TV, perhaps played it on the internet, or even in a casino. Now you are ready to try to host your own poker tournament at home in your own game room or basement. Hosting your own poker tourney is much more personable than playing poker on the internet. The smack talk, the cross table body language, the feel of the cards in your hands, and the sound of the cards being shuffled are all great aspects of playing poker at home. Best of all may be the great feeling you have inside when you take down a huge pot of chips or make a great play and get some praise from your buddies. Of course, a badly run poker tournament at home can be a huge headache. So make sure yours is run right and your players will consistently return to your basement for your future poker tournaments.
To run an effective poker tournament competition at home you need a high quality poker table, some top quality poker cards, clay poker chips, some kind of blinds timer clock, and a strategy. Sure you can host a tourney with some cheap cards and chips, but our objective here is to make it feel like a casino experience so your friends will continue to return and play in the future.
A high quality professional felt poker table makes your poker experience that much better but it will also be one of your biggest cash investments. If you do not have a high quality professional felt poker table and do not have the budget for one you can still host a poker tourney with absolutely no problems.
The most important aspect to keep in mind is the overall experience your poker friends are having. If you decide to perform on a cheap table, it will be more challenging to deal with the chips and to collect cards after each hand. Cards will fly across (and sometimes off) the home-made table. If you cannot swing a pro poker table, consider some other choices such as a felt table topper or just buy some poker felt on the internet and cover your table with it. If you're a handyman, consider building your own quality professional grade poker table; it is not that challenging.
Quality poker playing cards are essential for a successful tourney. If you buy a two-dollar cheap set, they will become filthy, difficult, and get bent edges and have to be thrown out after 1 hour of poker play. It is well worth the investment to spend money on some top quality 100% proven poker cards. They will perform better and last much longer. You can even clean them if they become filthy. You will need at least two decks of cards for each poker table. This allows one poker play to be shuffling while one is dealing which keeps the pace of play moving which is important when you are playing with costly blind levels and timers. You should also get at least one cut card for each table to help avoid the end cards of the deck from being revealed.
Poker chips are absolutely necessary to host a serious tournament. There are wide variety of poker chip options on the web that vary from pennies per chip to dollars per chip in cost. You do not have to have the expensive chips to have an excellent time at your tournament. Chips also come with or without cash values on them. Poker chips with cash values can be very practical, but are not necessary. Chips without cash values can be more versatile as you can allocate any value to them. If you choose to use chips without money values just publish a graph of what each colored chip is valued at. The quantity of chips you need really depends on the number of poker players attending your home poker tournament. Make sure you have enough chips so each poker playing has enough chips to make proper poker wagers. (20-30 chips is an excellent target to aim for) You will also want some bigger denomination chips so you can color up the chips when the blind levels reach a higher value later in the night. There are many choices for electronic blinds timers. You can use a simple egg-timer although this becomes very painful to manage as someone has to totally reset it for each blind change and it can be difficult to see at times. The Poker Genie is a great choice, or there are many programs you can get that will run on a laptop and you can even project your laptop onto your television screen. You could also buy a professional blinds timer and mount it to the wall in your game room if you are frequent player.
Finally, you need a strategy. You should know in advance what your buy in price will be, whether you will allow rebuys, what your cash payouts will be, and what your overall blind structure will be. Your buy in and rebuys should be spelled out clearly to people when you invite them to your tournament. No one wants to show up with $20 in their wallet to find out you are having a $30 buy in game. Payouts need to be made and the payout structure should be conveyed to the players or posted on the wall for them to see. Publishing your rules on the wall or via email will eliminate any late night arguments that may occur. When establishing blind level changes consider how long you want your home poker tournament to last. Blind level structures depend on how many people are playing, the actual buy in, how many chips you are giving out and the value of each chip. Here is an example of an excellent blind level poker structure:
Round 1: 100-200 Round 2: 200-400 Round 3: 300-600 Round 4: 500-1000 Round 5: 700-1400 Round 6: 1000-2000 Round 7: 1500-3000 Round 8: 2000-4000 Round 9: 3000-6000 Round 10: 5000-8000 Round 11: 7000-14,000 Round 12: 10,000-20,000 Round 13: 20,000-40,000
It is also a wise decision to go over all the rules with the poker players beforehand and to announce a moderator to make rulings if necessary as well as a back-up moderator for when the first one is not available or in the middle of making a rule at another table. Take your time to plan your home poker tournament so you will continue to have your friends come back to play more poker tournaments in the future. Good luck and I hope your first home poker tournament is a success.

The last thing that you want to be doing when you have the gang coming over for a game Texas Holdem Poker is to be looking through drawers and cupboards to try to find your poker supplies. Your poker supplies should be organized and easily accessible so that they ready to go whenever you need them. In order to ensure this immediate availability they should stored in a container that allows for secure, organized and easily accessible storage. The obvious solution to this problem is a poker chip carrying case designed specifically for this purpose.
The primary purposes of the poker chip case are storage, security and transportability. These purposes relate to functionality and style. Obviously having chips stored in a container that provides a certain amount of order and security is much better than keeping them in a bag, a box or lying around loose. Poker cases have several different compartments to facilitate the orderly storage of your poker supplies. These compartments include poker chip trays that organize your chips by denomination or color, generally in columns of 50 chips. Poker chip cases have varying storage capacities ranging from 100 to 1000 chips. The poker case usually has a storage compartment for playing cards that will typically accommodate two decks of cards. In most instances, there will also be a compartment for the storage of smaller items like the dealer and blind buttons or dice. In more exotic poker cases you may find specialized compartments for stylish items such as cigars.
Security is another important aspect of owning a poker chip case. Security is basically preventing unwanted or undesired access to the poker supplies. This can be accomplished by placing the poker case in a locked drawer or cupboard or by the security hardware that is incorporated into its design. Many poker cases have locks. Most cases have simple, basic locks for those individuals who are only concerned about functionality. For some individuals, the poker case is an investment or a furniture item, the design and composition of the lock and other hardware may be a more serious style consideration. These individuals may desire chip cases that may have locks, handles and hinges made of brass or other precious materials.
The third major purpose of the poker chip case is transportability. The vast majority of cases have carrying hardware. For smaller capacity cases, this hardware will be a handle. For larger capacity chip cases, the hardware can be a handle plus wheels for pulling or pushing with a design similar to rolling suitcases. Transportability is all a matter of what you actually require.
The construction material used for the outside of the poker case very much relates to function and style. If your requirements are simple, that is, you want a case that is durable and provides easy access plus allows you to take your poker supplies to other locations to play poker, then a basic aluminum, wooden or vinyl case will meet both your function and style needs. If you use your poker chips more frequently, in large numbers at multi-table poker events, then you will require an acrylic or aluminum, generally cube shaped, poker chip carrier. The serious, more sophisticated poker player with a permanent home poker room or with one or more sets of expensive clay or classic chips may require cases that have elegance and class to better reflect his personal preferences and style. This person may want beautifully crafted poker chip cases made from exotic materials such as oak, maple, mahogany or leather. They may even include a compartment for his cigars. He may also want a poker case with a clear top that will allow him to display his poker chips in his home poker game room.
It is up to the individual to decide which is more important function or style. For the poker player who has very basic requirements that is storage, security and transportability then there is a large selection of lower price poker chip cases available from which to choose. If style is important, then there are more exotic poker case options available that provide the same three basic functions but at a higher price tag. It's simply a matter of personal preference and/or financial means.

Previous: Inside Underground NY Poker #5
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Spades — 1.5Do you know what it feels like to be the last man standing in a live tournament?
Sure, scooping a 600 big blind pot in a cash game will probably give you an adrenaline rush, but the experience isn’t quite the same as outlasting an entire field of players.
I wanted to experience that feeling for myself.
The reentry period in the $75 tournament at Spades had come to a close, and players were beginning to bust. Two tables had now broken, and we were approaching the second break.
Vinny had announced the payout structure a short while ago — 65 players, 22 reentries. The top seven players would get paid, with $2175 up top for first.
I had a healthy stack at this point, but, I needed to reassess my game plan and adopt a new strategy — tight, ABC poker wasn’t going to help me at this point. The blinds and antes were getting expensive, and I needed to start chipping-up if I wanted to make it into the money.
The tournament goes on its second break, and the green chips need to be colored up and raced off.
At this point in time, I had never seen a chip race before. In fact, I didn’t even know what a chip race was, because they don’t occur in online poker. When I had colored up tournament chips in games that I had hosted at my house, I simply rounded up any leftover chips to the next denomination. I wasn’t aware that there was a fair and accountable way to do it.
In case you don’t know, a chip race is a method of removing unneeded chip denominations from play. If a player doesn’t have enough chips (of the unneeded denomination) to equal the value of the next denomination, the remaining leftover chips are raced off.
During the break, I stayed at my table to watch and learn how to do a chip race. The dealer races off the greens, and I look through the plexiglass window into the main room — two cash games were going, and Andy was playing in one of them. There were only a few more minutes left on the break, so I decided to just stay in my seat and wait for play to resume.
With 15 seconds remaining on the break, the dealer begins to scramble the cards. He gives the deck a shuffle, deals out the cards, and the action begins.
I still had a tight image at the table. I hadn’t made any big bluffs, and was never at risk at any point since the reentry period had closed. This was about to change — it was time to switch gears.
I pick up A4ss in the big blind. There’s a raise from early position, and both middle position and the button flat. The small blind comes along as well, and I go into the tank. I look at everyone’s stack size — we’re all sitting on roughly the same amount of chips, give or take a few big blinds.
I look at each one of the players in the hand, asking myself if I think that anyone in particular would call a shove. I think for a bit longer. I’m convinced that everyone in the pot is holding a marginal hand at best, and nobody has a hand strong enough to call an all-in. It seems like everyone wants to see a flop.
Finally, I come to a decision and raise all-in. This was a pretty gutsy move. If I was wrong, I was certainly behind, but if I was right, I could pick up a nice pot with only Ace high.
The early position raiser folds, so does middle position, as well as the button. It’s on the small blind, and she starts thinking out loud about what to do, deliberating between her options. I can see she’s trying to find a call, but hasn’t made up her mind yet.
In my head, I keep shouting, “FOLD! FOLD! FOOOOOOO-LD!”.
I direct my gaze to an imaginary spot on the felt, about where the board would be if the dealer had put out a flop. I hold a blank stare — the color of the felt on the table is red.
She’s still in the tank, and decides to turn her hand face up to try and get a read on me. I quickly glance at her hand, then back to the felt.
She’s showing pocket 5’s. She tries engaging me in table talk.
“Do you want me to call?”
I don’t respond.
“I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Call or fold? It’s up to you.”
I still don’t respond. She goes on for a bit longer, but I’m not paying attention to her anymore. In fact, I can’t even hear what she’s saying. I keep repeating in my head, over and over, “FOOOOOOO-LD!”.
She makes up her mind and chucks her hand into the muck. My entire body relaxes, and I feel the air expel from my lungs. I get the urge to crack a smile, but I resist — I’m pleased with myself for making a play that worked. I keep my composure and drag in the pot.
I pick up a couple value hands throughout the next few levels, another table breaks, and I win a few pots. I’m starting to pick up some momentum.
We’re now at 3 tables — I pick up AT on the button, with the Ace of diamonds. The college guy from earlier is in Middle position and puts in a raise. It folds around to me, and I 3-bet. He makes the call.
The flop comes Q7J, all diamonds. He checks, and I bet a little over 1/3 pot. He calls.
The turn is a black 3. He checks, and I bet again, slightly more than 1/3 pot. He makes the call — there’s no way he doesn’t have a hand here.
The dealer burns a card and puts out the river, 2d.
The complete board is Q7J32 with four diamonds, giving me the nuts. He checks again, and this time I bet 1/2 pot. He looks disgusted with himself.
“Ugh, I f*cked this hand up so badly.”
“I think you played it quite skillfully, and displayed good judgement by not raising at any point post flop.” — I’m trying to goad him into a call, even though I know he’s never going to.
“I know you’re only holding one diamond. I was gonna let you bluff the river and snap you off.”
“Well, now I’m gonna let you fold. Come on, let’s go. I know you’re not calling.”
He mucks.
I table my hand anyway, and turn over AT, with the Ace of hearts?
“You don’t have a diamond? Ace high? Are you kidding me? I folded a f*cking set of sevens and you have Ace god damn high?” — the college guy is visibly agitated.
My jaw drops — I had misread my hand, I really thought that I was holding the Ace of diamonds. Of course, I kept that fact to myself.
“Uh, yeah. That *is* Ace high. Hm, how about that... I guess you did let me bluff the river.”
I was at a bit of a loss for words and didn’t know what else to say — I had never misread my hand before. I was very aware of the fact that I wasn’t capable of playing that hand the way I did, had I known what I really had. I’m sure that I would have given up on the river and checked back. In fact, I probably would have checked back on the turn and never bet the flop in the first place.
Two players get knocked out in the same hand, one of them is the college crybaby. The table breaks, and I receive a new seating card. We’re down to only two tables. I take my new seat and take note of all the stack sizes to see where I stand — I’m right in the middle with about 45 big blinds.
It’s the final level before the last break begins. I’m under the gun and get dealt AKhh. I put in a min-raise and get shoved on by the button, who I have slightly covered, I think. It’s close. I’m not folding, and I decide it’s time to flip. I make the call, but to my surprise, the button tables AQ.
The flop brings a board of 99Q. Good game. Oh well, that’s how it goes sometimes — nothing you can do about it…
…except go runner-runner hearts and hit a backdoor flush!
I’m now sitting on about 80 big blinds and have one of the larger stacks. We’re down to six players at my table, the other one has five. I ask the dealer which one the final table is, and he tells me that the other players will be coming to us, although we’ll be drawing for new seats. It makes no difference anyway, both tables are in the same room and right next to each other.
A player at the other table gets knocked out, and we combine into the final table. We all agree to take a 10 minute break now, and instead play through the one that’s scheduled at the end of the level.
I walk over into the main room to see how Andy is doing in the cash game. He has over $1k in front of him in a $1/$2 game, which sounds like it’s too deep, however, most of the other players have at least $700. The shortest stack isn’t short at all — $400. It was almost 9PM at this point, and both of the cash games were full.
Andy gets up from the table and we walk into the smoking room.
“You made the final table, eh?”
“Yeah, we just got down to ten players. Only seven get paid.”
“How many short stacks are there?”
“Just one, really. Everyone else, including me, has chips. We decided to go on break right after we combined, so we haven’t played a hand yet.”
“Feel the table out before you decide how you wanna play it.”
“I will. I see you’re doing well in the cash game.”
“Oh yeah, it’s playing like a $2/$5 game and everyone is deep. The action is great, the standard open is $15 or $20. I think we might actually just make it a $2/$5 game.”
Clearly, the game was not playing like it was when I had played the night before. It was a tournament night and only 9PM on a Sunday. Most people had work the next day, though, and would begin to leave around 11 - 11:30 PM.
“I’ve gotta get back to the tournament, the break is about to end. When do you think you’ll want to leave? I’ve got class tomorrow morning.” — I had forgotten that Andy said he was going to stay there until the game broke, so that he could try and collect from Matt.
“Don’t worry about it buddy, I’ll call a cab to get back to the train station. I need to see Matt after the game is over, he’s going to pay me with what he makes tonight.”
I get back to my seat in the tournament, and a player at the table proposes a deal. The dealer knocks on the plexiglass window to get Vinny’s attention — he then points to his watch with his index finger, signaling Vinny to pause the clock.
“Anyone object to an even chop? Let’s do it, right now, chop it up ten ways and we can all go home early with some money. I asked Vin on the break — a ten way chop is $435 each.”
I did not object, and nobody at the table seemed to care that there was a shortstack. I was fine with a $435 payday, and I didn’t have much experience playing shorthanded or heads up anyway. It was all but said and done until one player rejected the deal.
“No deal, I want to keep playing for little while longer. Let’s go, start it up.”
I knew exactly why the guy objected. The one shortstack at the table had less than 6 big blinds. I’m pretty sure that he wanted to wait until the shortstack got knocked out.
The dealer once again knocks on the plexiglass window then points to his watch. Vinny starts the clock.
Four hands into the level, and two players get it in — Aces versus Kings. Of course, the guy who rejected the deal is holding the bullets.
However, karma can be a b*tch, and a King comes in on the turn. Nine players remain, and one of them makes a new proposal.
“Anyone object to a nine-way chop?”
“Yeah, screw it. Keep playing.”
I’m not playing any hands at this point. The shortstack is still in the tournament, and I decide that I’m just going sit back for a while and only open 88+ or two broadway cards. Everything else I’m folding. I’ll see what happens when another player bites the dust — I feel like most of the players still want to chop.
About ten minutes later, the shortstack gets it in with KJdd and loses. Eight players left. This time, nobody says anything about chopping — we’re on the bubble.
The blinds go up and I’m down to about 40 big blinds. With the blinds doubling every level, we were now playing bingo all-in poker. If you were to put in a raise, the rest of the table would either fold or shove. Nobody at this table was flatting.
It was only a matter of time until it was a hand over hand situation — I just had to be patient and wait it out.
Two orbits later, pockets Tens gets it in against pocket 9’s and the Tens hold. Seven players remain and we’re now in the money. This time, I’m the one to bring up a chop.
“How do you guys feel about a seven-way chop? What would we get paid on that?”
Someone at the table quickly does the math.
“$621.”
“Anybody object?” — I see a couple of the players compare all of the stacks in play.
“Ship it!”
The dealer knocks on the plexiglass window to get Vinny’s attention and waves him over. Vinny enters the room.
“Seven-way chop? Alright, then. I’ll be back shortly.”
He returns a minute or two later, holding a giant stack of cash.
“Congratulations, guys. $621 to each player. Thanks for playing, please remember to tip your dealers.”
While he’s paying everyone out, the dealer is in the box suiting the decks and racking up the chips. Each player proceeds to put down $60 onto the table, and the dealer thanks them as they leave the room. Vinny hands me my winnings.
“Good job, mo.” — as he counts out my money.
I remove three $20 bills from the small wad and leave it on the table for the dealer. In underground tournaments, 10% of the payout was a standard tip — that’s just how it was.
I’m about to walk over and say goodbye to Andy when my phone vibrates. I take it out of my pocket. It’s a text from Jennifer, my girlfriend.
“Hey babe, are you ignoring me?”
I immediately realized that I hadn’t spoken to her at all over the weekend.
I had a lot on my mind — I had just cashed my first ever live tournament, I was worried that the situation between Andy and Matt would prevent me from getting a dealing job at Spades, and I had a bunch of things to do in school to prepare for college applications.
I send a text back to Jen, explaining that I had been very busy over the weekend working and playing poker. I apologize and ask if I can make it up to her by taking her out to a nice place for dinner. She seems satisfied.
I make my way over to Andy and we say our goodbyes. I tell him that I’ll speak to him tomorrow — I was certainly going to give him a call, it was important that I know how the situation with Matt played out. I didn’t want anything standing in my way of getting a dealing job at Spades.
I leave the club and get into my car to drive home. 20 minutes later, I walk into my house and find my mother waiting for me.
“I have some bad news, son. Your father’s going to be in jail for a while.”
To be continued…
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Next: Inside Underground NY Poker #7

Hi I plan to buy a custom poker set for my home game in which both big and little blind are 25 cents. The poker set Im looking to get is 800 chips with three denominations of 25 cent 1$ and 5$ chips. Would 500 25 cent chips, 250 1$ chips, and 50 5$ chips work? Or should I get more 5$ chips? Thanks!

Does anyone know any good places to find good quality, yet cheap poker chips for home games? We would typically play with 4-8 players, on €1/€2 blinds, with 5 different colour chips (up to a max denomination of €100). I'd like to get a sizeable amount chips so I don't have to think too much about giving slightly larger stacks to everyone, at the same time not costing me an arm and a leg.
Thanks!

Part II: In this half of this article, I discuss generic metal coin manufacturers and other options for adding metal currency to your games. Check out Part I for more info about games that include metal coins and coins designed with a specific game in mind.
Edit: I've fixed the image link for the "new" Terraforming Mars cubes. Thanks to u/halfisglassfull for pointing out the error.
Back in 2016, I posted an article under my other username (u/Luke_Matthews) about my obsession with adding metal coins to board games, which you can read here:
Board Games and Metal Coins, An Obsession
What started as a diversion became an obsession, and since that article bloomed into a full-on compulsion. I’ve upgraded over 60 games with unique metal coins and currency, and I’d like to share the current state of this compulsion and what I’ve learned along the way.
It’s such a strange thing, because metal coinage is a purely aesthetic upgrade. They don’t change game mechanics or offer any extension to the gameplay experience. Even so, deluxe editions have proven there’s a market for aesthetic upgrades, and metal coins have grown into one of the most popular.
I have fallen down the rabbit hole of adding unique, thematic coins for each individual game. This approach is not for everyone. If, instead, you’re interested in adding generic coins you can keep aside and use for multiple games, I’ll talk about what sets I think are the best for that purpose at the end of this article.
For now, let’s get on with the show! GAME TITLES ARE LINKS TO PHOTOS. For a more user-friendly image browsing experience, view this post on my website or on BoardGameGeek.
NOTE: There is no way this will be an exhaustive list of all the metal coins available. I’ll talk about coins I have direct personal experience with, as well as make notes of other coins I don’t have and why I don’t have them. There will likely be a lot of coins not included here, and I encourage you to add your own experiences and pictures in the comments.

FANTASY COIN, LLC

Fantasy Coin is one of the first companies I encountered making a range of different coin styles specifically for gaming applications, without tying them to specific games. Of all the coin manufacturers out there, Fantasy Coin are definitely my favorite. Their coins are thick and heavy with fantastic finishes and colors, and come in a wide array of fantasy and sci-fi themes.
Getting ahold of Fantasy Coin’s products can be a bit fraught, though, as their primary source of income tends to be Kickstarter. Their website frequently sells out, and as their stocks dwindle, they’ll run another Kickstarter to replenish. Once one of their Kickstarters ends and ships, they’ll typically have stock which can be ordered directly from their website, but be warned you might have to do a little research to find out when more are available.
They’ve had some logistical problems with a couple of their Kickstarter campaigns, but for the most part they’re really good at fulfilling them. Their latest campaign was really well handled, and I think they’ve done a great job of addressing their past issues. Some previous backers, IMO, go a little overboard blaming them for mistakes, but forgiveness is not a typical trait of spurned backers.
Don’t listen to the haters. Fantasy Coin’s products are genuinely amazing and come at a great price, especially if you get them in bulk from Kickstarter.

Alchemists

I spent a long time trying to decide what coins I’d get for Alchemists. Since it only really requires one denomination, I had a ton of options (the Charterstone coins are a phenomenal choice, FYI). I decided on these coins from FC’s “Magic” set.

Caverna

Caverna’s one of the first games I upgraded with FC coins, and I have WAY too many coins for the game. They’re real nice, though, all from FC’s “Dwarven” set.

Clank!

Originally, these coins resided in my copy of Lords of Xidit. They’re a great, generic fantasy theme, so can go in many games. Once I picked up the Roll Player coins, though, I thought those were a better fit for LoX, so I moved these over to Clank. And they’re a perfect fit!

Five Tribes

This is probably one of my favorite upgrades using FC coins. I couldn’t find any really good, affordable Arabic- or Middle East-themed coins (at the time, there are some now), so I decided to lean into the fantasy side for Five Tribes. The silver coins are from FC’s “Serpent” set, and the golds are from their “Air Elemental” set. I think both work really well as representations of djinn.
Some people complain, when using coins like this for Five Tribes, you can’t hide their denominations. If it’s important to you to do so, I suggest getting either pouches or player screens to keep the coins hidden. However, I’ve never once found open money to have a significant impact on the game, so we just don’t bother.

Lancaster

I was originally planning on putting the old Brass coins into my copy of Lancaster, but when FC launched their latest Kickstarter and I saw their “Nottingham” set, I just couldn’t resists such a perfect thematic match.

Lunarchitects

Lunarchitects doesn’t actually have currency in-game, but one of the other great uses for metal coins is as victory point chits. Lunarchitects has a LOT of VP chits, and I definitely went overboard here, but it’s such a great game and I love these “Sci-Fi” coins from FC.

Nippon

There are actually several different options for Japanese themed coins, including the Yokohama metal coins and Artana’s Japanese set (which you’ll see in the next section). I chose to go with Fantasy Coin’s “Feudal Japan” coins for Nippon, because I just love the way they look.

Race/Roll for the Galaxy

Here’s another couple of games without currency, but for which I’ve replaced the VP chits with metal coins. In this instance, I don’t think I went overboard at all, and these “Credits” coins from FC are just an amazing aesthetic upgrade for two classic games.

Yedo

Yedo is one of my wife’s all-time favorite games, and ranks high in the worker placement genre for me. So, naturally, I bought the same “Feudal Japan” coins I used for Nippon for my copy of Yedo.

ARTANA

While Fantasy Coin is the company you’d turn to for fantastical and sci-fi-themed coins, Artana’s where you go when you’re looking for something with a more historical bent. While they don’t mimic specific real-world coinage, their designs evoke real-world cultures and time periods, which make them a fantastic choice for your average Eurogame. They tend to be lighter and thinner than Fantasy Coin, but not in a bad way. They also have 5 different sizes and finishes, from “Tiny” – which live up to their name – to “Jumbo” which are larger than a US half-dollar.
Artana’s coins used to only be available via Kickstarter, but they’ve since shifted their model to selling through game-bling websites like The Broken Token and Top Shelf Gamer. Since many coin manufacturers still rely on periodic crowd-funding to release new products, Artana’s consistent availability makes them unique.
I have just as many Artana coins as Fantasy Coin, and for good reason: they’re awesome. I’m primarily a Eurogame player so their coins are a thematic match for a lot of games I own. Their price-point is roughly the same as Fantasy Coin – on the lower end of the spectrum, overall – although because they have five different sizes and styles in every coin set, the price point varies depending on what specific coins you buy.

Akrotiri

I’m still genuinely surprised at how perfect Artana’s “Ancient Greek” coins are for Akrotiri. The specific motif perfectly matches the designs in the game, and I couldn’t ask for more.

Archipelago

For Archipelago I wanted coins fitting a 1700’s nautical aesthetic. These are from Artana’s “Pirate Ships” theme. The other coins in the set were a little too “skull and crossbones” for what I wanted (although colonizers ARE just another form of pirate), but I thought these two coins fit the theme really well.

Castles of Mad King Ludwig

I mean, these “Early English Kings” coins aren’t technically thematically appropriate. But I had them and figured I’d toss them in with a game set in 1800’s Bavaria because… well because the game needed some coins.

Concordia

Got a game set in ancient Rome? Get some “Ancient Roman” coins!

Istanbul

Again, near-perfectly themed coins from Artana’s “Persia & Asia Minor” theme. I really like the way these coins look with Istanbul.

Troyes

Artana’s “Middle Ages” theme is great for a game set… in the middle ages. They’re a little more Anglo-Saxon than Frank or Norman, but no one’s ever really going to notice. Ystari games once made coins for Caylus which were a perfect thematic match for Troyes; alas, they are no longer available.

The Voyages of Marco Polo

These are the first Artana coins I ever picked up, from their “Renaissance” theme, and they couldn’t look better in this game.

Yamatai

Really, any of the Japanese-themed metal coins I’ve seen or owned – from the Tokaido coins to Fantasy Coin’s “Feudal Japan” theme – would work well in Yamatai. But as beautiful as this game is, I wanted something with a bit more variety. Artana’s “Japanese” theme fit the bill perfectly.

Giochix Historical Coins

I’m a little torn on the Giochix Historical Coins. On the one hand, they’re nice sizes and weights, and they feel and sound great. On the other hand, they’re not really filling any sort of necessary niche. Artana has the “historical” space covered pretty well, and Fantasy Coin’s selection of SFF themes is pretty universal. If they were going to create specifically thematic coins, I wish they’d have filled some of the holes in this tiny industry, or just gone completely generic, which actually would’ve fit their physicality a little better.
All that said, Giochix did manage to create a couple of themes I found useful, specifically their “Pre-Colombian” theme, which is an area of the world other companies have neglected. It is, however, pretty niche, and I understand why they chose to make more applicable themes for Eurogames.
I only have two minor gripes: First, the shiny finish – while not necessarily bad in and of itself – does make the denominations a little hard to tell apart at a distance. Second, the relief on the faces of the coins is very shallow, looking much more like modern Euros than anything fantastical or historical. The problem this leads to is making it very difficult to differentiate coins from different themes, but if they’re assigned to a specific game this shouldn’t really be an issue. (It’s only an issue for nutty people like me who have this many different coin sets.)
They’re a good price, coming in at about 24¢ (US) per coin, which is on the low end of the scale. Their affordability goes a long way to ameliorate the complaints I have. Now, it’s just a matter of figuring out their availability outside Kickstarter.

Altiplano

There aren’t many coins out there with a South/Central American theme, so when Giochix made their “Pre-Colombian” set, I knew I had to put some in my copy of Altiplano.

Lost Cities: The Board Game

Uh… same.

Heaven & Ale

Okay, so it’s a bit of a stretch to have Giochix’s “Spanish Colonial” set representing Heaven & Ale, a game about beer-brewing monks more likely set in Germany or Belgium, but there were Benedictine monasteries on the Iberian peninsula, so I’m just gonna run with it.

Isle of Skye

“Celtic Apogee”. Can’t be a better fit. As a side note, the metal coins for Clans of Caledonia would also be a great match for Isle of Skye, but I wanted to differentiate the two.

Lorenzo Il Magnifico

This very Italian game deserved some perfectly-themed “Medieval Italian” coinage.

Roman Coins

Since I got these sets in bulk from Giochix’s Kickstarter, I ended up also getting their “Ancient Rome” set. But I have no game to put it in. I would be suitable for Concordia or Trajan or any game set in Ancient Rome, but I already have coins in Concordia, and no other game with a Roman setting at the moment. Here’s a picture anyway.

REAL CURRENCY

Sometimes, fake coins either aren’t the answer or aren’t available. If you can’t find fake coins for your games, the best option might be actual currency, either historical or current. I’ve used real currency in 5 games, so far.
The real problem with acquiring real currency, especially if it’s historical or foreign (I’m in the US), is availability and price. Most of the time you’re not going to find it any cheaper than fake coinage, and getting enough coins in large enough lots to use for board games can sometimes be a chore. If you’re willing to do the extra legwork, though, you can get ahold of some really nice coins.

Ukrainian Kopiyka/Hryvna

When I published the original version of this article, I saw people shortly after talking about Ukrainian coinage for games. I followed through on picking some up, because they are INSANELY cheap in this context, running about 8¢ per coin. Which, incidentally, is massively higher than the exchange rate for some of them, but still massively cheaper than fake coinage. The design is pretty, and is the same across all the kopiykas, and they come in all the standard European denominations.
There’s a problem, though. The 1s and 10s are extremely small, thin, and light. Smaller and thinner than a dime, and significantly lighter. For me, this is a massive issue, for a number of reasons. They’re so small and thin I actually have trouble picking them up, which makes them frustrating to use. But more importantly, they’re not really an aesthetic upgrade from punchboard coins. Every time I used them, I found myself disappointed and just wanting to go back to the cardboard ones.
There is one MASSIVE exception here: the Ukrainian 1 Hryvna coins, which I’ll detail below under “Village”.

Camel Up

I put a set of these in Camel Up, and that’s what I’m using for the pictures. But, honestly, I’m going to replace them very soon.

Village

The unlike the kopiykas, the 1 Hryvna coins are actually pretty fantastic. They’re a little bigger than a quarter, and they’re really beautiful. You’ll have to cope with a very, very Orthodox design, and they’re obviously only good for games with a single denomination. But all those features make them really perfect for Village, a game with a small number of single denomination coins and a church as a major part of the theme!

Le Havre/Le Havre: The Inland Port

I couldn’t find good, fake coins for Le Havre, so I just bought real ones! These are WWII-era aluminum “Emergency Coins” from France, and they’re absolutely fantastic. They’re a little light, being made from aluminum, but they’re beautiful and thematic, even if the time period is a little off.
Beware, though: There are two different kinds of these coins. Some are from the French Republic, occupied in WWII by the Germans but still opposed to them, and some are from Vichy France, a French state who became collaborationists with the Germans. You can tell them apart (both physically and in ideology) by their mottos: The Republic coins say “Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite” (or “Liberty, Equality, Fraternity”), where the Vichy coins say “Travail, Famille, Patrie” (or “Work, Family, Fatherland”. YEAH).
Don’t get the Nazi-adjacent coins.

Grand Austria Hotel

Good Austrian coins for games are hard to find at a good price. The thematic ones – especially for a game like Grand Austria Hotel – are prohibitively expensive. Granted, it’s not entirely necessary to replace the money tracks in GAH, but I wanted to anyway.
I ended up picking up a bunch of semi-modern Austrian Groschen. They’re a little small, and they might be too modern for the theme, but they’re Austrian and that’s enough for me.

Great Western Trail

I absolutely can’t take credit for this particular idea. I saw a reply on BGG from user TRONOFOTHEDEAD with the idea of using Indian Head Pennies and Buffalo Nickels for Great Western Trail, and I followed suit. I gotta say, I *love* these coins for this game, especially the 2-cent coin as the round marker.
This is a rather expensive upgrade. The bulk of the coins aren’t too bad. The Buffalo Nickels are actually only about 7¢ per coin, but the Indian Head Pennies run about 60¢ each. The two, together, average about 37¢ per coin, which is on the high end, but not terrible.
It’s the 2-cent coin which really breaks things, though. I paid $14 for the 2-cent coin alone, the common price range is for coins in not great shape. To be fair, when shopping for coins like these, you’re rarely going to get coins in decent shape at these prices. This is the cost for what are called “culls”, or coins collectors have separated out as junk and are selling in bulk because they’re not collectible.
But they’re perfect for board games!
As a side note, the metal coins for Montana: Heritage Edition are a near-perfect thematic match for Great Western Trail, if Big Kid Games decides to sell them at retail.

Russian Railroads

I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect upgrade than these. The included coins are clearly modeled after rubles, so real rubles are a great replacement. This set was comparatively expensive, costing me about $18 for 20 coins, but since I only needed those 20 and they were so thematically perfect, I bit the bullet.
The problem, now, is 90’s era rubles are pretty difficult to find. I tried searching for them on eBay (where I got these) and couldn’t find a decent lot.

OTHER GENERIC COINS

These are a couple of examples of other fake coins not specifically designed for board games, but which work well under certain circumstances.

Pachinko Tokens

Pachinko tokens are an absolutely fantastic option for generic coins, especially if you want something vaguely U.S.A. themed. I originally bought a large lot of them for a planned LARP which never materialized, and have since repurposed them for several different games. Almost all pachinko/pachislo tokens are about the same size and weight as a US quarter, and most of them will come with Japanese, vaguely American, or casino/gambling designs. Mine are mostly U.S.A. themed, so I use them in games with a modern Western theme.

No Thanks

No Thanks doesn’t actually have currency, per se, but it does have a set of tokens used for gameplay. My generic gold pachinko tokens fit the bill very well.

Panamax

Finding modern-themed fake coinage is actually rather impossible, so pachinko tokens work really well in modern western settings like Panamax or…

Suburbia

Again, modern Western setting, and nearly thematic coins to go with it. A great addition to Suburbia. At least right up until I get my copy of the Collector’s Edition, which includes bespoke metal coins!

Pirate Dubloons

“Pirate Dubloon” is probably the most ubiquitous theme in fake coinage, both metal and plastic. I got these particular coins on Amazon, for really cheap. They’re about he same size as a US quarter and come in 4 different finishes.
Note: these are the same coins Eagle & Gryphon Games sells for Empires: Age of Discovery, but they’re MUCH cheaper on Amazon and can be obtained in larger quantities.

Libertalia

I don’t have a hell of a lot of pirate-themed games in my collection, so I found the one game they work really well with.

CUSTOM POKER CHIPS

Some games just scream for custom poker chips instead of metal coins, and I can’t help but oblige. I’ve made custom chips both for currency and tokens for games, but I’ve only included pictures of the currency here. Making custom poker chips is actually fairly easy with a set of relatively inexpensive tools. I’ve created a tutorial on how to do it, which you can find HERE. That tutorial also has links for artwork which can be used for printing your own stickers for the games I detail here.

Capital Lux

The square wood “coins” included with Capital Lux, frankly, baffle me. They neither look like gold coins nor match the theme of the game, and for a card game as beautiful as Capital Lux, with stunning art from the always amazing Kwanchai Moriya, they actually detract. So it was a no-brainer for me to design chips for the game.

For Sale

For Sale could easily have been upgraded with metal coins, but something about the punchboard design just called to me for custom poker chips.

NON-COIN CURRENCY

Sometimes a game has some form of currency that – GASP! – isn’t coins. There are still tons of opportunities to upgrade currency like this, though!

Castles of Burgundy

The “Ore” from Stonemaier’s Treasure Chest is a perfect upgrade for the Silverlings in Castles of Burgundy.📷

Lord$ of Vega$

There’s a chance I may replace these with full-size custom poker chips some day, but for right now I love using these mini poker chips in Lord$ of Vega$. These particular chips aren’t available anymore, as far as I know, which is a shame. They’re the only mini poker chips I’ve found modeled after regular chips instead of the plastic, ridged ones, which I viscerally dislike.

Patchwork

I mean, this one’s just obvious, right?

Terraforming Mars

Okay, there are a couple of different sites offering a metal cube upgrade for Terraforming Mars, to replace the metallic plastic cubes included with the game. The upgrade is phenomenal, and it was one of the first things I ordered after getting the game.
Here’s a pic of that set.
But it’s always bothered me that the “gold” cubes in the set are the gold bars from the Stonemaier Treasure Chest instead of actual cubes. I know it’s a piddling thing, but it just seemed a little off.
A friend of mine, Eric, is the biggest Terraforming Mars fanatic I know. My gaming group plays the game a lot, and Eric plays it even more, with multiple groups he joins to play. So it only makes sense he’d be the one crazy enough to actually requisition a new set of metal cubes for Terraforming Mars, ones better matching the style of the game by a) actually having CUBES for the gold, and b) all being different sizes.
Here’s a pic of these new, awesome cubes.
This set is better, IMO, than the ones you can get from The Broken Token**. Eric** plans to make them available via an Etsy page soon, and I’ll update this article with a link as soon as it’s up and running.

DISHONORABLE MENTION

I know I already mentioned the coins for Tokaido’s Collector’s Edition, but before I bought the CE I had these coins for my retail edition. They’re unmitigated garbage.
They’re thin and flimsy and tiny and they don’t sound great or feel particularly good and they’re really not any better than the carboard coins and they’re Chinese and not Japanese and they’re trash.
A pic of these awful coins
I paid $2.47 for 40 coins, shipped, and I got ripped off, honestly.

COINS I DON’T OWN AND WHY

Obviously I’m not going to go into detail here about games I don’t own which include metal coins. I mentioned several sets in the Bespoke section above. But here are some details on some metal coins made by other companies and why I haven’t added them to any of my games.
The main reason I don’t own any of these is price. I was willing to spend the extra bucks for game-specific coins for LoW and 7 Wonders, and maybe my set of Russian Rubles, because the theming made it (sort of) worth the extra cost (I’ll be honest: I own and love those coins, but probably wouldn’t pay the price again. Maybe. I think?). Most of the coins below cost nearly the same (75₵-$1 per coin), but aren’t specifically themed for a board game.
In a lot of cases, getting enough coins for a board game involves multiple “sets” – as the manufacturers define them – so you don’t run short during play. With these manufacturers, multiple sets just end up being too damned spendy. That being said, the coins they make do look fantastic. The designs are really good, but they’ll need to come down in price before I’d be willing to buy some.

Legendary Metal Coins by Drawlab

The designs here are really great. I contemplated getting a set of their Arabic theme for Five Tribes, but I couldn’t justify the cost. Even in bulk, at their cheapest offering, they’re still 70₵ per coin. Most games, in my experience, require 50-60 coins to ensure you don’t run out at higher player counts, which rounds out to about $35-$48 for a set (depending on how you acquire them). That’s a little above my top end; half-again to double what I paid for the coins from Fantasy Coin and Artana.

Campaign Coins

Campaign Coins are really beautiful, and have the most “high fantasy” feel of any I’ve found. I actually considered getting sets from them for Lords of Xidit, simply because they match better thematically. However, at their cheapest, they’re about identical in price to the Legendary coins, so just out of my range.

Minion Games

Minion Games doesn’t have a wide variety, with only two different themes: “Metal Dragon Coins” and “Futuristic Metal Coins” (the coins for Hegemonic), and they range in price from 70₵ to 90₵ per coin. Which is, frankly, absurd.
They’re cool looking coins, but they’re absolutely not worth the price.

Moedas & Co

The only reason I don’t have experience with Moedas’s coins is because I just haven’t ordered any yet. They have some very awesome bespoke coins for specific games, including the giants like Terra Mystica, Great Western Trail, Lisboa, and more. Their prices are right in line with companies like Artana and Fantasy Coin, and their coins look genuinely great.
They’re a Brazilian company and their website doesn’t handle currency conversion, so to place an order in North America you have to e-mail them directly, which does add a layer of difficulty. It’s not something I’m at all averse to doing – the owner replies occasionally on BGG and other users have posted positively about their products and service – I just haven’t done it yet.

Never Stop Tops & Coins

Again, gorgeous, but expensive. Not quite as expensive as some of the others here, but still just outside what I would consider affordable. And, honestly, I haven’t seen any recent information about this company, so they may not be making coins anymore.

Shire Post Mint

Shirepost’s coins aren’t really viable for this kind of application. They primarily do licensed coins (Lord of the Rings, Kingkiller Chronicle, A Song of Ice and Fire, etc.), and they’re not built for bulk orders. They’re designed to be a novelty, and are wildly expensive, coming in at well in excess of $1 per coin. So, they’re cool, but not really worth it for board gaming.

Rare Elements Foundry

Rare Elements Foundry is one of the first companies I ever encountered making metal fantasy coins. Unfortunately, they are ungodly expensive for the most part. Their coins run around $22-$25 for a set of 10, pushing them up to and even beyond Shirepost’s prices. Their coins are very beautiful, but not feasible in quantity.

BEST GENERIC COINS

Here’s the thing: I love upgrading the coins in my games, and I think metal coins add a genuinely massive aesthetic boost. They’re absolutely my favorite type of upgrade. BUT, I also understand buying separate, thematic coin sets for a ton of different games isn’t for everyone. You might want metal coins, but would rather just have one or two generic sets you can use across multiple games whenever you play. So here are my opinions on the best coins for that purpose:
Honorable Mention – Poker Chips
Poker chips, either generic or custom, are a great option. They’re frequently cheaper than metal coins, and you can get them in a bajillion different styles with or without denominations. But they’re not metal, and that’s an issue. They’re a fantastic option, though.
Honorable Mention – Pachinko Tokens
Granted, pachinko tokens have a weird “theme” and they look more modern than thematic, but honestly they’re great coins and you just can’t find a better deal. They come so cheap and in such large quantities I have to mention them here as an option for the budget-conscious.
Honorable Mention – Scythe Coins
The Scythe coins are absolutely fantastic quality and, as I mentioned before, are almost so thematic they’re themeless. If you want a set of coins with a little extra flair and don’t think their odd theming will clash with your games, you absolutely can’t go wrong here.

BEST SINGLE-DENOMINATION COINS – CHARTERSTONE COINS

Stonemaier does it again with their Charterstone metal coins. You absolutely cannot get a better set of coins for games with a single denomination. Some examples of games these coins would work great in are Lancaster, Russian Railroads, Villages of Valeria, Alchemists, and Village. But, basically any game where you only need 1s, get yourself a set of these.
Charterstone Coins

BEST OVERALL GENERIC COINS – SEAFALL COINS

The clear winner here are the Seafall coins from Plaid Hat Games. They may be rather generic, but their design is beautiful, and they’d make a fantastic addition to any game you’d want to use them with. They’re a tiny bit expensive at about 40¢ per coin, but there’s over 100 coins in the set and if you’re only buying them once, it’s an absolute no-brainer.
They’re a great size and weight, and the colors and finishes are unmatched. I really like how distinguishable the colors are on these coins, and I absolutely love the satin finish because it keeps glare low and amps up the color variance, making the coins easy to tell apart from across the table.

If you can only get one set of coins for all your board games, make it this set.

METAL COINS FOR BOARD GAMES, A GEEKLIST

I acquire new coins as I get new games, and sometimes coins change homes when a game leaves my collection. To track and show these changes, I’ve started THIS GEEKLIST on BGG. Do you have metal coins in your collection? Do you want to show them off? Please add your own pics and descriptions to that GeekList! I know my collection is not comprehensive, and the more pictures and suggestions for coins and they games they work with would be incredible!
Thanks for spending the time to peruse my compulsion for metal coins in board games! I hope you’ve enjoyed the pictures and commentary. If you have metal coins of your own and would like to show them off, I’d love to see them added to the GeekList, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
If you want to talk about metal coins, or DIY upgrades, or board games in general, you can always find me on Twitter @PixelartMeeple, on Instagram @pixelartmeeple, on BGG at PixelartMeeple, and on my website www.pixelartmeeple.com! You can also hear my (much more succinct) thoughts on games on The Five By podcast.
Thanks for reading, and happy gaming!