Heisters!

It's December of 2019, after the "Starbreeze Allstars" pack letting you play as the Core Developers Crew, the "HIS NAME" DLC letting you play as John Cena, the Undertaker, Hulk Hogan and David Hasselhoff, after the "John Wick 3: Three times one." addon which adds John Wicks collection of pets as playable heisters, we just released the GOTY of "Overkill's The Walking Dead" and are looking into including all our ideas for a third, open world PAYDAY game into STORM.
The final update for PAYDAY 2 will be the "Endgame Polish Update" on which we worked for a whole month nonstop, it finally fixes all the annoying bugs that collected since release and as our final heist, you steal a lollipop. But it has a twist you'll never expect! Even if you know the OTWD lore! NEVER!
Thank you for all the years of flying helmets, thank you everyone at /paydaycirclejerk for exclusively delivering all the ideas for the 2018 year of content.
Almir Listo, CEO of Robberygames division of OVERKILL - a Starbreeze Studio
Oh and by the way: The Secret was behind the ATM in Four Stores all the time, Baldwin and Cagliostro were brands of candy, with the latest update you can finally read that just like in our internal builds, sorry for the six year delay, we thought we had updated the texture files with the Deathwish update.
"Goys! Geeerd!", Clover whispered across half the town. By ~~crouch~~crotchjumping ("Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.") between the candy isles, she was able to bypass the GenSec Geeerds even if to Wolf who lagged like a fockin Wanka it looked like she just levitated right through their brains. To Hoxton who didn't lag at all, it looked the same because since 2017 the Guard AI was basically RNG and the most reliable stealth tactic was to use glitches. The last update had introduced that enemies could see their front, their back, smell with their feet and hear nothing but what was above them, the only empty place was still their brain which Clover had just enough stamina to get through in order to grab the lollipop she was heading towards. "That's mah girl!", Hoxton commented the successfully completed objective. But of course the trigger zone was bugged and took some civilians out of the loop they were trapped in, making the game drop frames like the mic after a sick burn in order to catch up with their code and some random Bobs cabletied corpse in a dumpstered bodybag on the other side of the mall phoned the cops which instantly spawned. "Shoit!", Clover autoresponded. "Come out with the lollipop over your heads and not in your mouth or we're forced to use lethal force! Surrender now or face the consequences! I repeat, lollipop over head, come out!", a cop said barely understandable under the noise of a single infinite bullet hell and ten Captain Wankers shield blobs assaulting the building while a chopper dropped skulldozers with RNG-controlled teleporting Cloakers on a leash. Yes, fuck logic. "We shouldn't have started the round on very hard!", Wolf remembered the big difficulty update which reduced the gameplay to purely tactical elimination of special enemies after the great increase of casual players in early 2017 when Starbreeze had no plans but target demographic expansion. "To stop a Gaben, take control and press the Gaben!", Jacket suggested restarting the game. Before that could happen, the whole mall started shaking. "What in Bains fockin name...", a new voice line from Hoxton directed all attention towards the glass roof. It shattered in a giant unoptimized cloud of particle effects not seen since the great client disconnecting of Golden Grin Casino back when everyone thought the Dentist was a major character or related to the Secret. Above it, a single giant army helicopter that had been copied directly from the current version of Hotline Miami day 2 shot a few dozen rockets at the candy shop. Since everyone used dodge builds, only their suits took some damage. The mecha Captain Wankers, called "Sudden Death" by community and the developers internally were visible from their spawn just next to the borders of the skybox but they wouldn't be necessary to stop the PAYDAY crew because Robberygames division of OVERKILL - a Starbreeze Studio with the latest update had decided to end the franchise itself with a simple but efficient addition that wouldn't only kill players but just about everyone. The sky lit up and the faces of Wolf, Hoxton and Clover acted, against Houstons wise words, just as dum as the ones of every single one of their enemies present.
And then Jacket was just like: "Aw, shiet."
No one had ever seriously questioned why the ceiling fan in this small room had a shadow on the ground even if there was no light source. Then again no one was sure how holding F could do all the things it did and where or what this F was. The fallout scratched the door which a moment after that just turned into confetti, letting the sudden weather change in. the Tasteful Club as it was known like just a few seconds ago, was no more. Any safe or furniture gone without any explosives or drills. Chains had seen it years ago: From now on, no drill would be drilling anymore, we wouldn't call it drills now but nuclear dust. The ceiling fan was mixed into it but the button that by some game logic no one will ever understand made the ceiling fan have its own shadow on the ground, stayed intact. It was there like a secret string attached to a secret box revealing that embarrassing Christmas photo of the pilot who nearly lost the Holiday shipment of coke. This secret box was a bunker with connection to a few titan CCTV in the area containing two people watching the live feed on some old russian TV.
"Seems like buyer wasn't so far away, after all.", Vlad witnessed the apocalypse. "Well, you know, I told them to come party at the Tasteful Club and have this Vodka. But no, Bain has other Job as always. Too bad, really, too bad, I liked them, they partied like real Russians, like you and me." Vlad took a sip of Vodka looking at Sokol. "So this is how they die, how it all ends. Well, was only matter of time, nothing else could have stopped them, I guess." "So what will we do now?", Sokol asked. "Everything is destroyed, we should probably build new society or something, we're good upstanding citizens, we should be good at the job." "You know what, Sokol? That is great idea. I think. Take that slow crap computer from the motherland in the back shelf here and tell me if it still works, will you please, comrad?" "Now what?" "Hack into Bains network. It will take months but as you see, we have plenty time now. Get all his stuff, why reinvent wheel, eh? Let's start our own postapocalyptic Crime.Net with Blackjack and Hookers!" "Vlad, that's not what I meant by..." But Vlad didn't listen, only sing. Like a fucking Sputnik.

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PAYDAY 2 Endgame

Heisters!

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